Purgatory

Chapter 19

I was in pain and paranoid about interacting with my squad mates at lunch.  Instead of bearing through the meal I decided to wander through the facilities to pass time.  I eventually stopped my pointless journey in the training ward and watched as a random assortment of people trained in pairs or in solitude.

They were more advanced than I was, and their skill was apparent with each subtle movement of their bodies.  It seemed like a waste to me in that moment with how far away my goal felt.  What if I never achieved my freedom?  What if I died like Juels where my body couldn’t be recovered?  Even if my body were recovered after I died, would Purgatory bury me or inform my parents of my death?  There could be ways of subtly going about it.

I wondered what it would take for me to get to a point where I could work alone.  All my actions only affect me and no one else.  I preferred things that way, and I would know I only had to concern myself with just one person instead of multiple people.  The next step from the eidolon class is observer, which to me sounded like it had the potential of carrying more one-man operations.  Unfortunately to get to observer class, my entire squad would have to succeed to promotion as well.

“Helena.”  An unfamiliar voice broke through my thoughts, and I turned to face an imposing man.  Faint scars were hatched across his face, most notably four parallel scars that slightly deformed his left cheek and neck.  His face was stern and his posture rigid as he stood at a distance from me.

“Who are you?” I asked more rudely than intended.  My words didn’t seem to affect him and his expression remained stoic.

“I was sent to find you,” he replied.  The anger in me flared with his words.

“I don’t care who sent you or why,” I told him sternly.  “Go away.”

I knew it was likely Cole that sent him as if I were some lost puppy that had run off.  By getting someone to find me, he belittled me.  The man continued to stare at me, his feet firmly planted to show me he was not leaving.  I turned my back to him and pretended to watch the people training in the arena.  His presence was getting on my nerves.

I turned around to yell at the man once again, but he was gone.  It was feasible that someone could walk away out of sight from where I stood, but I couldn’t shake the paranoia growing within me.  I couldn’t recall the color of his eyes, but did I even look?  I was so focused on his very presence that I overlooked the finer details.  It would be silly of me to worry over something so uncertain anyway, so I pushed the fear aside.

I needed to stop focusing so much on the fear of uncertainty.  What I should do instead is to turn my attention to how I can turn that uncertainty into certainty.  Why shouldn’t I try to figure things out?  I needed to figure out a way to do so without the need of going rogue, but if that scenario came I would need to determine a plan B of sorts.  This would take time to formulate, but I was willing to be patient.

I resituated my right arm and held it close to my body to protect it.  The pain was throbbing and stiffened my joints, but I knew I could manage it.  The one thing I couldn’t manage, however, was the growing sense of hunger.  I debated on how severe the repercussions of showing up to a meal late would be, and if it would be worth it to suffer through an awkward meal rather than to wait for dinner.  If the skipped meal were to have any sort of uncomfortable air, dinner would likely have the residual effects that could possibly grow from what it could have been at lunch.  With that notion, I decided to head over to the cafeteria and endure the meal with my fellow squad mates and subject myself to their questions.

To my confusion the entire squad stood in formation at the entrance, their stance at attention as Cole stared at me with a stern expression.  My pace slowed as I neared to where I felt hesitant to get any closer.  Cole looked like a predator stalking its prey, and I was being hunted by his watchful eyes.