Purgatory

Chapter 38

                “Our failures remind us that we’re human, Helena,” my father said to me consolingly.  “Everyone inevitably fails at some point in their lives, so you’re not alone in this.”

                I sat on the couch adjacent to him in a frustrated pout.  I was already frustrated with the move to the city, but on top of having to acclimate to a new environment, I had to deal with new classes and homework assignments.  Earlier that day I had discovered I didn’t complete my math assignment and the embarrassment overwhelmed me.  I was usually diligent in completing homework on time, but now my new math teacher likely would take me for a slacker from then on.  I got a zero for my homework and class participation because most of the class was spent going over the assignment.

                “Mrs. Vetters probably thinks I’m one of the bad kids now,” I responded.  “That means if I make good grades she’ll think I’m cheating.”

                “She won’t think you’re cheating,” my father reassured me.  “She probably doesn’t even think you’re one of the bad kids either.”

                “You don’t know that,” I retorted.

                “Neither do you,” he pointed out to me with a smile.  “Don’t focus on your failures, sweetie.  If it bothers you that much then don’t let it happen again.  The best thing you can do is to prove the world you aren’t prone to it, and you already know your mother and I believe in you.”

                I nodded my head in response as I soaked in his words of wisdom.  I always held my father in high regard for the way he could calmly solve problems with simple logic and a little love.  I’d always been insecure about failing ever since Naddia died, and both my parents had been sensitive to my self-doubt as soon as they caught onto it.  It wasn’t like the never told me I was wrong in something, but they would always encourage me to fix my failures after they’d come and gone.

                It was a lesson I’d carry with me for the rest of my life.  Everyone fails, but not everyone tries to fix it.  Those that do are the ones we can trust and depend on; that we can call “friend” or “lover” because we know they care enough to right their wrongs.

                The torrential current of boiling shadows howled, and I fervently thrust my arm upward to disconnect the cord from my port.  Finally, the cord released and clacked against the cylindrical chamber that encased me, and the howling darkness began to suck back into the portal until there was nothing left but silence and light.

                I closed my eyes in relief.  I succeeded in closing the portal, and I could still hear the sounds of battle within Purgatory faintly booming in the distance.  People were still alive and still fighting, which meant that I hadn’t completely failed after all.

                I heard a clatter just outside the room followed by muffled voices.  They tapped along the door panel and struggled against the voice of Purgatory warning them of their denied access into the room.  After another series of repetitive alerts, finally the voice granted access into the room, and the door hissed open.

                “Helena?”  I heard Cole’s voice call out to me urgently, and I couldn’t help but smile.

                “The chambers,” Curse said.  “Help me open them.”  Through the small slat in my chamber’s door, I could see my squad mates filing into the room with their weapons at the ready.