Touche Cliche ― The Book of Cliches

-conceit

11. conceited much?

Graphic content, as usual. If there's one thing I hate, it's misplaced conceit. 

Now, you might be saying: 'What, but isn't this whole book a conceited bitch ranting about how much her books are better than everyone else's yet is putting it in an extremely self-aware manner so that no-one suspects anything?'. Well, kinda, it's a fact that my books, whilst not the greatest in the world, is better than the bottom of the barrel Wattpad books. 

You know, the ones with countless grammatical errors that make it impossible to read, I understand English isn't everyone's first language but not knowing the difference between your and you're is just... Why don't you get a grammar checker if you aren't confident in your spelling? I use Grammarly, no shame in that. 

ɜ: (what the fuck is this?)

I'm not talking about that, though, I'm talking about a book I read recently on another writing site (not gonna name it 'cause the author didn't put her book on this site). The story starts like most: I'm searching for something (that I can't reach...I can't sing...). More specifically, I'm looking for a tips and tricks book 'cause I wanted to see ways to improve my book. 

The author gets right into the topic, starting with POVs and common misconceptions about them. She starts the chapter by defining the three POVs yet my one problem is the example of the second person she gave. Apparently, the second person is when the words 'you, your and you're' is used, which is correct, but then she goes on to give an example. The example made me cringe: it's a conversation in the first person where she inserts herself in a conversation with a boy, constantly addressing herself as 'I' and saying 'I said' and variants of it. 

To add insult to injury, she tries to justify this by saying that she was 'recounting a story' which is 'what the second person is'. Sure, but you know what else is recounting a story, boo? When I'm chilling with my mates and telling them about the hot guy I saw at the fish and chips shop, is that the second person? No, you used 'I', I use 'I' and 'my' when telling a story to friends, it's the first person, no exceptions. Then, she says that she's 'so tired of seeing people calling the second person the first person'. 

This'd be fine if she was in the right, but she ain't so she's just making herself sound like a condescending moron. My sort of 'conceit' is well deserved, I don't mean to sound like an absolute cunt, but at least I do my research before publishing anything. This is where Wattpad comes in, I've read a fair share of tips and tricks books here and I'm so annoyed with books that have not been researched and are just spouting things off the top of their head. 

I know you can't please everyone, but when your message is factually incorrect, not even considering if the person has good intentions or not, then that message should not be taken as helpful material, it's worse if you attempt to act all high and mighty about it and look down on others. 

AUTHOR'S NOTE;

Sorry if I sound a little angry here, but this just really annoyed me and got me to write. I despise when people get shit wrong and then look down at people. This wasn't really a cliche, per se, but the frequency in which I've seen this happen makes it one in my books (literally). 

I'm gonna try and branch out to more genres including the tips and tricks one. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go eat some salt and Doritos.