Touche Cliche ― The Book of Cliches

-the grind

16. the wattpad grind 

What's up, peeps? Gosh, I'm so cringy. Today, we'll be talking about the grind and the struggle authors go through to get noticed on Wattpad. Graphic content and controversial opinions ahead, you should know by now. 

_ cont.  

One of the things that frustrate me the most on Wattpad is when I see good stories with less than a hundred views whilst cynical, repetitive garbage gets hundreds of thousands. 

The thing about Wattpad is that it uses an algorithm to dictate which stories will be recommended and, if you do not adhere to this algorithm, then good luck getting your book past a few hundred views at most.

You might be wondering what the terms of this algorithm are, and, whilst I do not know exactly how this algorithm works, here is a list I've managed to gather:

01. Upload regularly - when I was uploading daily, my book skyrocketed to number one in nearly every tag, though once a week is what I recommend. 

02. Engage your readers - encourage them to vote and comment as much as you encourage them to read your chapters from beginning to end. 

03. Upload on Fridays - if you know you can't write daily, always try to upload on Friday evenings.

04. Play dirty - yes, the algorithm wants you to play like a complete scumbag, this includes advertising your book in another book's comment section.

05. Track the tags - read some of the top-rated books in your genre and take some of their tags.

Notice that nowhere on that list does it require you to make an actual good product, no, you could write the best story in history, but if the algorithms decide that you are not popular enough for it, then no-one's going to read your story.

My question is why.

Why should people be essentially forced to copy other books to get ahead? Why can't they make an original, good story and be able to know full well that that story, their passion-child, will be read by someone? Why do we have to kiss the algorithm's ass to get ahead?

Why is cynical garbage always at the top of the recommendations? 

Time and time again, I've seen the same 'Billionaire x OC' or 'Bully x OC' or 'Jock x Nerd' shit get to number one in their category. I don't care if you want to write about a billionaire and your OC, my problem is when it is so badly written that my six-year-old cousin could write a better story, yet it somehow manages to get to the top.

Good plot, no, you don't need that, you just need the same recycled, bland plot.

Good characters, who? Why spend time crafting characters that engage your reader with their morality when you can just serve them some inoffensive, unstimulating garbage that can be spoonfed to the reader because the author doesn't respect the reader enough to give them a good story.

Well constructed villains that are relatable and aren't just some flat, cardboard cut-out, basic bitch, bland as stale porridge, humdrum, predictable caricatures with no motive other than they wanted to be evil for the sake of being evil? Fuck that, our readers are too stupid to grasp moral quandaries. 

Want to explore a niche in the system or an unpopular fandom, no, that deviates from the mainstream so you can't do that. 

Behold, ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between, behold the face of Wattpad. This is what first-time readers will get when they first sign up. 

_

So, how can we fix it? How can someone who wants to explore new grounds on Wattpad succeed? 

The answer is that you have to grind, this is my list to success on Wattpad:

01. Upload as regularly and consistently as you can - even if it means not uploading for two weeks, it's better than not uploading at all and, if your product is good enough, your readers will forgive having to wait.

02. Tag everything - tag as much as you can, every element of your story should be tagged to make sure you reach a wide audience.

03. Get a good cover - make your own or go to one of the many cover shops to get one. They said never judge a book by its cover, but a cover goes a long way.

04. Sign up to the Wattpad forums and/or other online writing forums - a lot of people are on forums to either advertise their book or to read other people's book, it's pretty much open real estate if you can find your own niche to settle into.

05. Give it time - I remember back when I first published this book and I was just sitting, refreshing the page, hoping I gained another read. Don't look at your read count, expect nothing and be pleasantly surprised if someone comments or votes or reads and, if nothing changes, don't be disappointed.

_ AUTHOR'S NOTE; 

That was my mini-rant, sorry there isn't as much humour as there normally is, but I really needed to get this off my chest. It's so disheartening for a new writer to see books that they know are much worse than theirs be pushed to the top. 

Go home, Wattpad, you're drunk.

WORD COUNT; 895

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED; Thurs, 9th May at 7:08 PM