andante ❈ benjamin pavard

ONE

A nondescript summer pop song blasted through Zoe's radio as she drove back to the apartment her and Margot shared. Both Zoe and Margot were off to the states for university, and both wanted to make money before doing so. They decided to work in Lille, the city closest to their small town. It wasn't the best apartment, but it was something they could call their own.

Zoe unloaded the groceries from her car and headed inside the building. And as soon as she got inside, she realized she forgot the most important thing Margot had written on the grocery list: toilet paper. Zoe inwardly groaned. Oh well. She sucked it up, because she knew she'd have to deal with Margot's wrath either way. The girl could be scary when she chose to be. But they were so close because Zoe was one of the only people Margot couldn't scare; Margot liked that Zoe didn't see her how everyone else saw her. The slut, the bitch, the whore. To Zoe, Margot was the girl that told Juliette Henry to suck a dick when she pushed Zoe off of the monkey bars in primary school.

And, of course, the only other person that wasn't afraid of Margot was Gabin, Margot's good for nothing boyfriend. Zoe was half sure that Margot was only with him for free drugs, but Margot hated it when Zoe brought up Gabin's drug dealing habits. But that didn't mean that Zoe couldn't think it. She hiked up to the third floor of the apartment building where she could already smell the weed. Zoe huffed. They could at least pretend they weren't smoking.

Another reason that Zoe was sure that Gabin wasn't scared of Margot was because of the fact that he was twenty three to Margot's measly eighteen. Gross, sure, but it wasn't like Margot would listen to Zoe if she voiced her concerns. Zoe opened the door and was met with the pungent smell of pure marijuana that hung in the air. She coughed.

"Mon Dieu, that shit reeks, Margot!" Zoe scrunched her nose, and set the groceries down next to the door before locking it.

"I'm not smoking it!" Margot called from the living room. Zoe rolled her eyes; even better, a guy who wasn't paying rent making their apartment stink.

"I forgot to get toilet paper," Zoe said as she walked into the living room. There Gabin was, sprawled on their couch with a joint in his hand. Margot sat on the end with her legs tucked beneath her. At least she looked apologetic for her boyfriend's behavior. "Maybe Gabin can get it when he's sober. As compensation."

"Hello to you too, Zoe. My day was great, thanks for asking."

"Do you have a job?"

"Stop moving."

"I've been standing still this entire time!" Zoe exclaimed. She glanced back over to Margot, who pretended not to notice. Zoe loved Margot, but that did not mean she had to love Gabin. "At least move your fat ass so I can sit down. My feet hurt from working all day."

Gabin scoffed and Margot laughed. Zoe didn't know what was funny. She worked as an intern at Mercier, one of France's top PR firms. She would be majoring in public relations at Columbia that fall, so the job was a perfect fit. Margot was off to NYU, majoring in international relations. She worked at the French embassy in Belgium. How Margot managed to pull that off, Zoe had no idea.

"You remember Benjamin Pavard? Like not him in the World Cup, but back when we were younger." Margot asked. Zoe gave her a look as she shoved Gabin's legs off of the couch and sat down Indian style.

"What do you mean do I remember Benjamin Pavard? I only had a crush on him for the first twelve years of my life."

It was honestly gross how much Zoe was completely taken with him. Enamored with him. In love with him. Zoe's apartment was the official hangout spot of her brother's friend group, which meant that she saw a lot of Benjamin. Back when he was still Benji and he was the only one who spoke to Zoe. Who acted like she existed. It was kind of embarrassing in retrospect, but Zoe had always loved the ideas of firsts. Experiencing something for the first time was quite magical. There will never be anything quite like a first, and Zoe knew there would never be anything quite like Benjamin.

"He's back in Maubeuge," Margot said. Zoe raised her eyebrows. That was a bold move, considering their community was small and he was now considered a French hero.

"How do you know?"

"It's all over everyone's stories." Zoe took this as her cue to open Snapchat.

"Benjamin was a little cunt," Gabin stated.

"You're a cunt." Margot gave Gabin a little slap, reaching over Zoe.

"How do you know Benjamin, anyway?"

"Every kid that goes through Lille's youth system is the most entitled shit. Don't have to know him to know that fact," Gabin proclaimed before blowing another cloud of smoke. Zoe frowned. She forgot that Gabin lived in Lille while Benjamin lived at the Lille academy. Well, Gabin said that he didn't know Benjamin personally. So, he had no idea what Benjamin was like. Gabin was a liar. Whatever.

Zoe clicked the first story she saw on Snapchat. Some girl she somehow knew named Alix. Sure enough, they were at someone's house and a quick, blurry selfie with Benjamin was taken. Zoe hadn't really looked at him in a long time. Yes, she watched the World Cup, but that didn't exactly give her a closeup. And she didn't follow him on any social media either. He looked older, as expected, but more confident. Zoe smiled.

"He crashed Noelle Blanchard's party, apparently." Margot brushed a lock of her dark hair behind her ear, still on her phone. "Oh, and Noelle is trying to hook up with him. Or that's what Emma's saying."

"Emma is a gossip." Zoe frowned.

"So am I." Margot shrugged. "I like being updated while I'm away."

"Does he have a girlfriend?" Zoe asked.

"Who?"

"Noelle Blanchard." Zoe stared. "Ugh, Benjamin. Who else would I be talking about?"

"Well how am I supposed to know? I mean, he's hot, he's rich, he's famous, so probably. I hope you're over that crush you had him."

Zoe narrowed her eyes. "You don't know the first thing about my crush. You didn't even remember I had one."

Margot laughed. "Of course I remember, I just hoped that you forgot. You were really obsessed, seriously Zoe. I hope you're over it. I don't think he's the same person he was all those years ago, and I know how you like to build up these dream versions of people in your head. People change."

As much as Zoe hated it, Margot was right. There was no way Benjamin was the same boy that picked Zoe up from Juliette Henry's house at two in the morning. Money and fame changed people. But still. It was hard to let go of the sixteen year old Benji that she knew him as.

"I'm over him," Zoe promised.

Well, mostly over him.

*

i'm ACTUALLY gonna try to finish this story yeehaw! i have like the first 10 chaps written so whenever i feel like a chapter gets enough votes/comments i'll post the next :)