andante ❈ benjamin pavard

THIRTEEN

            "So, where are we off to now?" Zoe asked. They were still holding hands.

Ben glanced down at her and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. I'm pretty wiped. Wanna head back to the hotel?"

Zoe pondered the question for a moment. There was no real reason for her to object his proposal. She was even tired as well. But going back to the hotel would signify that her time with Ben was running out. It was a sinking hourglass, a grain of sand falling every moment. She bit the inside of her lip to prevent a rueful smile from appearing on her lips.

"Sure. That sounds good."

"You sure?"

Zoe rolled her eyes. "Yes, I'm sure, Ben. Let's go back."

Ben quickly hailed a cab from a street corner. Zoe hadn't realized how far they strayed from the hotel until they were driving back. As she sat in the back of the cab, the pain in her feet finally caught up to her brain. They were killing her. The ride took almost fifteen minutes. They walked at least four miles, which was a lot for Zoe, who rarely exercised. It was practically nothing for Ben who ran at least ten miles during a game.

The cab parked in front of the hotel, and Zoe was prepared to get out, but Ben stopped her.

"Wait a second," Ben began. He leaned over Zoe to peer out the window and onto the sidewalk. He turned to the cab driver. "Would it be possible to drop us off at the back entrance?"

"Sure, no problem," the driver said, in a heavy southern French accent that was hard for even Zoe to understand. The driver began to drive around the block.

"What was that about?" Zoe asked as Ben looked out his window.

"Don't you see them?"

"See what?" Zoe was rather confused with Ben's cryptic nature. It seemed like everyone thought it would be fun to be cryptic with Zoe. She hated it. Why couldn't people say what they meant? It would make her life a lot easier.

"Look," Ben said, pointing out the window. She followed his finger to a man in a button up shirt, glasses, and faded jeans. There was a camera hanging around his neck.

"A tourist?" Zoe asked.

"No." Ben rolled his eyes. "Paparazzi."

"Oh," Zoe replied dumbly, with realization dawning on her. "How'd they find out you were here?"

"I don't know." Ben squinted as the driver turned the corner. "But it's probably good we're leaving tonight.

The driver parked behind the hotel and Ben stepped out of the car first, before offering his hand out for Zoe to take. She sighed deeply. Ben made it hard for her. She didn't know why he had to be so nice, so caring. They had an expiration date. Zoe knew that, but it was still hard for her to accept the fact.

The pair walked through the empty parking lot in silence. It was nearing five in the evening and the sun was still shining. They were to head to Monaco that evening, and Zoe thought about his offer for the gala. Zoe knew that Ben thought that Zoe attending was a foregone conclusion. Should she go? But what would that make her? A sure thing?

They got into the elevator and Zoe couldn't stop thinking about what she was to Ben. They were friends, definitely, but there were complicated layers on top of that which Zoe couldn't identify. She was his best friend's younger sister and he was the love of her childhood. She was a normal girl going off to university in New York and he was a famous soccer player in Europe. Two completely different paths that wouldn't allow them to explore the potential they had together.

And Zoe used the word potential very lightly because she could not, for the life of her, figure out Ben's feelings towards her. She hoped with all her heart that he reciprocated her feelings, but as Ben showed this past weekend, he was as unpredictable as it gets.

They entered the room and Ben immediately went into the bathroom. Zoe wandered around the room for a few moments, before deciding to fiddle with the TV. There were no good channels. Hotel TVs weren't to be trusted, anyway.

She settled on a re-run of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and flopped backward onto the gigantic bed that sat in the middle of the room. The bed was freshly made and the sheets washed. They smelled like lavender. She laid in that position as she heard the shower turn on in the bathroom. Huh, she thought. She assumed that they would shower when they got to Ben's in Monaco, but whatever. 

She decided to change out of her current clothes and into more comfortable attire. Ben seemed super tired, so Zoe highly doubted that they were going to go out after Ben was done with his shower. So Zoe went through Ben's things to find something to wear. During her shopping spree that morning, she bought things to wear outside. She didn't buy anything to wear inside. It might've been an invasion of privacy, but it was Ben who forced her into the trip, anyway.

She found another large t-shirt and slipped off her bra to put in her bag. She decided on not wearing pants because none of Ben's shorts would fit her, and the shirt she chose was big enough anyway. Her hair fanned against the pillow as she laid against it, and sighed contently. She was at peace. With herself, with Ben, with her life. She had her huge meeting with her supervisors on Monday, and then she'd be set for the rest of her life. She was going to New York and was going to have a good time.

The shower turned off and moments later, Ben opened the door. Zoe didn't turn her head to look, because she did not want to be met with the sight of Ben's wet, lean body barely covered with the small hotel issued towels. However, Zoe didn't hear Ben move from his spot in the doorway. It was only then that she turned to look, and she watched as he watched her.

"Yes?" she asked cheekily, along with the raising of her brows. Ben flushed and smiled, looking down instead of peering at Zoe.

"Nothing," he said, and he began to walk into the room. "It's just--" he stopped himself once again and shook his head. "Nothing."

"No, say it," Zoe said, pushing herself into a sitting position. She brushed the dark hair from her face and tucked it behind her ears.

"It's nothing." Ben shrugged and walked over to his suitcase to put clothes on. Zoe's eyes tracked his movements, like a predator watching its prey.

"It's something," Zoe insisted, scooching over to the edge of the bed to better interrogate him. "What?"

"It's just..." Ben began. He threw on a shirt over his head and tugged on pajama pants beneath his towel. Zoe had to look away as he dressed. "I can't believe you."

"What do you mean?" Zoe inquired.

Ben gulped. "I don't know. I just didn't expect you to be so... you."

"So me?" Zoe parroted, a smug look crossing her features. Upon noticing her expression, Ben rolled his eyes. He threw a random shirt at Zoe, and she fell back dramatically. "Oh, you wound me!"

"It's just so weird seeing you so grown up," Ben said. He flopped onto the bed next to Zoe, propping his elbow up to rest his head in the palm of his hand. He laid on his side with a ghost of a smile on his face. 

"I'm not a little girl anymore," Zoe said, turning to face him.

"Yeah," Ben said, reaching out to brush the stray hairs from her face. "I know."

***

this chapter feels so yucky to me, sorry. had huge writer's block w this chapter but i have everything running smoothly now! thoughts?

vote + comment! <3