Tokyo Ghoul X reader OneShots

Ashamed II | Sasaki Haise

A/N: This is a sort of part 2 to Ashamed, so the reader's past/occupation is the same as before. 

This was requested by @YanskieLuixx ! I hope this is what you wanted! 

THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS.

"Are you okay?" You turned at the sound of Saiko's voice and attempted to hide the fact that you were crying. She had more than her fair share of negative feelings, and you didn't want to impose your own onto her. 

"Yeah, don't worry." You gave her a shaky smile. "And you? How are you coping with everything?" 

The small girl frowned and sat down beside you on the couch. "I know  you miss him." She stated. "We do too, (Y/N)." 

You chuckled and looked down. "I know. I just hope we'll be able to find Ginshi's body soon. He deserves to be put to rest." 

Saiko's frown deepened. "We miss Shiragin too, but I'm talking about Maman right now." 

For her to speak with that much seriousness in her tone of voice, it sent shivers through your spine. A subordinate shouldn't be talking to you in such a way, but you did deserve to be slapped back to reality. 

"Haise's..." You sighed. "He's a whole different person now. It just feels like he's completely gone. But we have to expect that. The CCG's nothing but loss after all. I have to get used to the feeling." 

"I'm sure somewhere deep down, Sasaki still cares about you. He's still somewhere in there." She spoke, placing a hesitant hand on your shoulder. 

"Thanks for trying to cheer me up, Saiko." You smiled, hugging the girl. This was so unprofessional, but right now you needed this. 

"Just promise us you won't leave too, even if Maman asks you to." She whispered. You nodded and rubbed her back soothingly. 

"I'm not going anywhere. I love you guys way too much for that." 

••••

You shattered that promise as easily as you would with fine china. Seeing your ex walking around like he didn't even recognize you hurt a lot more than what you anticipated. You had tried to deal with it, to just let him go, but you couldn't, because Saiko was right. 

Your Haise was somewhere in there, and as long as he exists, you won't leave his side. 

You knew the person now known as the Black Reaper didn't love you back, and you understood that, but you'd still stand by his side if needed help, because who doesn't want to be loved? If he were to find someone else, that would have been a different thing entirely, though.

For now, you'd just secretly support him and try to stick with the remaining QS. They had lost so much in so little time, and if you were to depart, it wouldn't help. 

Your act didn't last long though. Arima had approached you at some point and asked if you would be able to 'betray' the CCG for Sasaki, and you being, well, you, you decided to jump into the plan to create a better place for apparently, both ghouls and humans.

It really hurt to leave your friends with no answers to their questions, to betray their trust, to leave them in the dust, and you really wanted to keep your promise, but Arima had asked you to help Haise, and you weren't going to let them down. 

••••

Saying switching from the CCG to GOAT was hard was such an understatement. 

First, you had a hard time catching up to all the new faces and the truth about ghouls. Then came the fact that Haise just looked like himself even less and now went by the name of Kaneki Ken, and then he fell in love with an old friend of his.