Tokyo Ghoul X reader OneShots

| Tokyo 69

A/N: MAAAN MY LOVE FOR BROOKLYN 99 FINALLY CLASHES WITH THIS SHIT

IF YOU GUYS LIKE IT AS MUCH AS I DO, I MIGHT MAKE IT ITS OWN BOOK AND CONTINUE WITH A BUNCH OF CHAPTERS (all in their own little universes so that the reader can jump from one love interest to another lol)
If it's not obvious enough, here are the assigned roles
Haise = Captain Raymond Holt
Ginshi = Terry Jeffords
(no one:
Ginshi: GINSHI LOVES YOGOURT-)
Saiko = Gina Linetti
Kuki = Rosa Diaz
Tooru = Amy Santiago
You = Jake Peralta (this doesn't mean that Mutsuki x reader is set in stone, I plan to switch out the love interests every once in a while)

     As you sauntered into the office, all heads already turned to you. It was all over the news anyways, of course they'd know. "And that's 26 ghouls for (Y/N), 24 for Tooru. Who's in the lead? Me!" Turning to the green haired boy who rolled his eyes, you winked at him. "Why, investigator Mutsuki, by all means. You do the honours of changing the number."

     Your friend (is he even your friend? He looks like he hates your guts right now...) nearly slammed his hands on the desk and stomped to the board to erase your 25 and replace it with a 26. When he turned around and passed by you, he stopped for a moment. The expression he pulled might have been supposed to look evil, but he just looked stupid to you. "Enjoy your victory while it lasts, (L/N). I'll have you absolutely decimated in a matter of days."

     "Oh, decimated. I do love me a dice." You replied. Your euphoria didn't allow you to even feel threatened by the man.

     "Die, not dice, and it has nothing to do with it." Obviously disgusted by your limited vocabulary, Tooru returned to his desk and started his paperwork again.

     "Dead or not, it sounds very sexy." You purred. "Oh to think that in a few mo-"

     "Settle down with the foreplay, you two." Urie scolded. You took a few steps back out of reflex before he'd pull a knife at your throat or something. "The new captain's coming today and as much as I'd love to see you fired, I won't have this squad look bad on the first day."

     "Speech!" Saiko cheered, turning to Shirazu, who was the current squad leader. You were all surprised that Urie hadn't tried to murder him and take his place yet.

     "Er... no, I'll leave that to the captain." The tall blonde shook his head in denial.

     The reminder of a new captain made your shoulders fall in disappointment. "Urgh, the old cap was just fine, I don't get why they fired him. I liked him a lot!"

     "Yeah, because he let you do whatever you wanted. Nothing got done when that guy was around!" Mutsuki interjected. "Hell, even Shirazu almost lost his position as squad leader because Akira caught him arm wrestling with you."

     "It was the QS Olympics! The FINALE!" You cried out in an attempt to defend your very, very rational actions.

     "Heh, I won that year." Ginshi's statement earned a glare from you. No one won, you had settled on that. Akira didn't let you two finish and banned the QS Olympics. No. One. Won.

     "I just don't want a new captain that's gonna be like Urie, you know? A total sociopath with no emotions! I don't want to live the rest of my days hearing '(L/N)! Put on your uniform!', '(L/N), the QS Olympics remain banned!', 'thE ProTeCtiOn Of HuMaN CiVIliAnS Is MoRe ImPortAnT ThAn ThE cApTuRe Of A GhOul'. You know, a robot kind of guy." You folded at the elbows and mechanically moved around. "Meep, morp, I am humble and yet very conceited." By the time you had finished that impression, everyone's eyes weren't on you anymore, but rather set on something (or someone) behind you. Although the lack of attention deeply affected you, you slowly turned to meet a man clad in a suit.