Depression it sucked. That's just one of your flaws, but there were many things wrong with you, it only got worse and now you were broken without even realising it. Yet you still hide it away with the brightest smile and distracting yourself in your work.
After the news you were told this morning you had no reaction, you were probably in too much shock.
Anyway today all idols were to perform at music bank. You had gotten dressed and went downstairs straight to the van ignoring the boys requests and looks.
You greeted your manager ever so quietly hopping in the back and plugging your earphones in. The whole way to music bank you listened to Astro sad songs like first love and run.
Once arriving you climbed out of the van and wore a fake smile for the paparazzi and to assure fans the you were 'normal'
You walked in but music bank miscounted so there were only 7 seats for Bts, the boys tried to persuade you to take one of there seats but you shook your head and spoke your first words to them today.
"No you guys sit I'm gonna stand over there so I'm not in anyone's way" you halted smiled while walking away, you kindly bowed respect to the idols you passed.
You stood near the fans but not to close so you would get hurt.
You were up next and were doing a collaboration with SHINee's Taemin, Red Velvet's Yeri, Blackpink's Rosé, Astro's Rocky and Moonbin, along with Twice's Daehyun and Mina.
What Taemin wears ;
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What Rosè wears;
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What Yeri wears ;
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What Rocky wears :
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What Mina wears ;
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What Moonbin wears ;
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What Daehyun wears ;
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What you wear ;
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The theme was ligh and dark but it wasn't slow or sad it was rather upbeat and happy, when you first found out you were performing with them you were so excited but now nothing was really processing in your brain.
After the performance The mc's asked questions you zoned out as you thought about what had only happened a couple of hours ago. Tears rolled down your cheeks as your eyes continuesly filled with water.
Yeri seemed to notice and pulled you into a soothing hug. At this point you were very distressed so all filming faculties were cut off.
Taemin pulled you off stage and the other members followed, "(Y/n) are you okay?"
You shook your head while you kept mumbling that it was your fault. You were sobbing and everyone who performed on stage with you were worried sick. (Taemin, moonbin, rocky, joy, Daehyun, Mina, Rosè, yeri)
"Taemin it's my fault he killed himself, I should have been there it's all my fault" you sobbed into your hands.
"(Y/n) what do you mean"
"It's my fault he died, he commuted suicide because of me, his dead" you cried.
Everybody was broken and soon left you and Taemin some time alone out of respect.
"(Y/n) it's never going to bee your fault, I know okay I know, he knows and sees you okay,"
You nod in his chest as a few sobs left your mouth.
