Humans Are Space Orcs - Vol. 1

Engineer Field Log - EG #23

[Thirteenth Cycle of Gria, Vorn Felyah]

Human ingenuity is something to marvel at. In all of my years at Technics I have never seen such inexplicably STUPID things actually WORK as they do for these impossible creatures. I have been out in the field not even a full meta-cycle and yet everywhere I look my human coworkers are creating incredible things that honestly shouldn't work.

And yet they do.

They work, and not only that, they work better than the designs created by Gov'n Hevaxol herself. I don't understand it. Just this morning Human Carol visited my work station and showed me a device from what I assumed was her homeworld. It was circular in shape and made peculiar noises. What concerned me was the DAGGER strapped to it with industrial patches. When I asked what it was and WHY she had turned the strange device into a weapon she merely bared her teeth at me.

"It's not a weapon," she had said cheerily, "It's Stabby! Well, Stabby 2.0 . The Captain destroyed the original one back on the ship." I was appalled.

In all of my years at Technics I never once thought that I would have to fear for anything but my physical well-being after I graduated. At twenty-three cycles out in the field I have come to learn that I now have to fear for my sanity, too.