Humans Are Space Orcs - Vol. 1

Stabby The Shit-Spreader

Now, cargo transport ships are usually manufactured to be quite large in the chance that giant shipments might need to be moved. But most of the time, that is not the case. Thus, the cargo bay of 1 mile was largely empty, with only a few Terran animals in cages placed in one corner of the hull. It was technically night, so the day crew (including the Terrans on staff) were asleep in their rooms. The night staff consisted of a few nocturnal crewmembers. Most of which, of course, assumed that there would be no issues in the cargo bay. So it wasn't checked. At all. Just left. The animals all had appropriate water and food, so it was thought to be fine.

Except it wasn't. It wasn't fine. Stabby was still running amok, none of the crew able to remove the knives even after weeks of chasing the damnable cleaning drone. What's more, the Terrans has underestimated the ingenuity of the canine specimens. As well as one of the canines' stubbornness. As such, one of the Terran 'dogs' escaped from its carrier. It quickly left a pile of excrements in the middle of the cargo bay floor before returning to its cage like nothing happened.

And then, from the darkness, a blinking blue light appeared. Like the the manifestation of War itself, Stabby the roomba entered the cargo bay like an avenging creature of darkness. Usually that wasn't a problem. Stabby was a cleaning drone after all. Except tonight was a different story. Under the cover of night Stabby drove over the pile of excrements and proceeded to travel all across the mile long room, back and forth. Multiple times. The roomba was gone by the time 'dawn' approached.

The light of the day crew illuminated the cargo bay, revealing streaks of brown streatching dozens of feet. From end to end the cargo bay was absolutely slathered in excrement. It was almost as if not a single white floor panel was left. As far as the eye could see, there was only rancid, almost paint strokes of feces. The Terrans looked like they were almost in tears.

"I knew that I should've kept Daisy in my quarters last night—but I didn't want to separate her from Jack. This cargo bay is an entire mile long!" One of the gathered Terrans whispered painfully, sniffling in between phrases. The other crew members looked at them in pity. They all remembered what the Captain said.

"Terran animals, Terran responsibility. That means any messes made, you will be cleaning it up." The harsh words echoed silently between the day staff. Human Terence already had quiet tears dripping down his cheeks.

Alverek swallowed and said, "I'll get the cleaning supplies." Human Claire let out a large sob. Cleaning sucked. Cleaning up smeared excrement? That was just cruel. And they all knew it. Alverek shuddered As he spotted Stabby creeping away down the entrance hall, light trails of brown appearing behind it. He didn't want to be the one to tell the Terrans. He looked away determinedly.

Nor did he want to tell the Captain.