Humans Are Space Orcs - Vol. 1

*Various Noises Of Despair*

We had been trapped in the ancient mine shaft for five minutes. The enemy had found us, planning an ambush and blowing up the entrance. There was only one exit; right in the centre of the enemy's camp. They had us cornered. My fellow Gevosl'k fell into a near despair. I would have too, if not for our comrades. Two humans who had at first been stowaways. After the Captain let them earn their keep, they had become invaluable members of the crew. But at that moment, as my mentor Human Jacquelyn would say, I wanted to "bitch slap those motherfluffers into the floor." Because just as we heard the enemy marching towards us those two hooligans began to FUCKING SING.

'Well here we are again," Human George began, his twin not far behind, "It's been such a pleasure,' Fred continued. I recognized the song from the almost incessant amount of times the pair had played it around the ship. The footsteps had stopped, and than the duo had the gall to GIGGLE. THEY GIGGLED, LIKE WE WEREN'T ABOUT TO BE MURDERED. We waited, but the enemy never came. Hours later we finally found the courage to venture out of the mineshaft. There was no one in the camp.

I learned two things that day. 1, humans had terrible reactions to fear. 2? Humans are very useful to have on a crew.