Tea Parties and Feather Boas (Luke Kuechly)

Chapter Twenty-Three: Hopeless Wanderer

•Left a clouded mind and a heavy heart
But I am sure we could see a new start
So when your hopes on fire
But you know your desire
Don't hold a glass over the flame
Don't let your heart grow cold
I will call you by name
I will share your road•

Lydia faced door that once felt warm and inviting. Now it felt like a giant gate meant to keep her out. It felt leering and scary. She thought about how easy it would be to walk away. He would never know she was there. She almost followed through with the thought until she felt the kick inside of her. Her baby, their baby, needed it's father. Still she hesitated. Again, her baby kicked, harder than the first time. "Okay, okay, I'm doing it," she mumbled taking the extra step towards the door, knocking.

It felt as if it took hours for the door to open, but in reality, it was only seconds. Her knees knocked and her hands shook. She was about to start biting her nails in her nervous fashion, but the door swung open before the impulse could take over. Luke, however, was not the one who answered. A woman about Lydia's height with blonde hair answered. Her eye roll was apparent. It didn't surprise Lydia all that much. Luke was a private person. That, however, didn't keep the biggest of fans from showing up on the door step. Lydia could remember having the same reaction many times. "We don't cater to people who show up on the door step," she spoke as she as assessed Lydia. She could feel the judgement radiating off of her.

"Who are you?" Lydia asked, not skipping a beat. She did even stop to think about how she was the one who was showing up on the door step, a perfect stranger to the woman who held an air of familiarity to her.

"Who I am is non of your business. Who you are, however, is mine." The woman crossed her arms.

"Right... sorry. I'm-"

"Miss Lydia!" Isla exclaimed as she spotted her old nanny, running out the door to greet the older woman.

"Isla!" Lydia smiled, going down on her knees welcoming to child's embrace.

The five year old practically threw herself into Lydia's arms. "I missed you so much.'

"I've missed you too, Isla bear."

"Your belly is bigger?" The young girl pulled away slightly as the implications dawned on her. "Are you having a baby?" The excitement in her face was something Lydia wanted to hold onto and bottle up. How much she wished to tell Isla that it was her baby brother or sister. She couldn't though. It would be Luke's decision to when or if she would be told.

"Yeah, I am." Lydia nodded.

"That's so cool. I can't wait to tell daddy!"

Lydia smiled nervously. "Where is your daddy? I think I left a few things here and need to ask him if he did anything with them."

"Oh, he's-"

"Not here," The woman who answered the door cut off. Lydia could only assume she was Isla's new nanny. "Isla, go inside for a few minutes," She spoke sternly.

"But-"

"Now." The tone in which the woman spoke to her surprised the woman. It reminded Lydia of the way her mother used to speak to her.

"I don't want to," Isla stomped her foot, crossing her arms.

"Isla, you should listen. I'll see you later, ok?' Lydia smiled weakly, kissing the girl's forehead. She didn't know if she actually would, but it felt like she should say it.

"Ok," Isla sighed, giving her old nanny another hug before dragging her feet inside.

Lydia stood to her full height once again. The still nameless woman scoffed. "Unbelievable, I've been here for two months and she hardly listens to me. You basically abandon her and she hangs on every word you say."