Acting Out [Student/Teacher, GxG]

Agape

"And that's a wrap on blocking!" Natalie yelled from her chair. The set was abuzz with nervous energy as the crew bustled about, frantically setting up for the scene. We'd had some of the same crew back in Missouri, but for most of the people here, this was their first day on the production. To shoot a key scene on the first day of a new show? Absolute hell for everyone involved. I wrapped the giant Canada Goose jacket wardrobe had given me tighter around my shoulders, bracing myself against the icy breeze coming from the wind machines. There was something bitterly ironic about filming inside of a heated studio and actively making it colder. "Back to ones," She ordered, and I quickly ran my jacket to my chair, dumping it before returning to my first position for the scene. Thankfully, they'd given me a little yellow 'X' in grip tape to stand on, or I would've had no idea where I was supposed to be.

"Standby for picture," The 1st AD spoke into the mouthpiece of his headset, and Natalie exchanged a few words with the sound department before returning to her chair and making eye contact with me, "Ready?" She asked, and I nodded. She returned her attention to the monitor in front of her, pulling her headphones over her ears, and signalling to the people around her. "Picture's up!" The 1st announced, and I braced myself. "Roll sound."

I had to make a conscious effort not to follow my instinct of joining in with the legion of PAs shouting, "Rolling!" at the top of their lungs. I listened to the chorus of orders barked out, letting the familiar words run through me like a melody. This was the part I'd loved the most about being on set — the way everyone came together as soon soon as 'picture's up' was called; thousands of people becoming one well-oiled machine. This, to me, was the true beauty of film. We were all here together, creating something that would outlast us.

"Speeding!"

"Roll camera!"

"Camera speeds."

"Marker," I heard the telltale snap of the clapboard. This is it.

"Set."

"And... action!" Natalie's clear voice rang out, propelling me into motion.

I marched over to Claire, doing my best not to wobble in my kitten heels or show how absolutely freezing I was with just a dress in the cold studio. Of course Claire got a fucking jacket.

Her eyes widened, "Amma? What are you doing here?"

I ignored her, practically running to close the distance between us and wrapping my arms around her shoulders, using one hand to cradle her face as I kissed her. She froze, stiff as a board, but I kept kissing her, putting everything I felt for Claire into a kiss that really had nothing to do with us. I moved my free hand from her shoulder down to her waist and she gasped, allowing me to deepen the kiss. She was supposed to have pushed me away by now, but I also wasn't supposed to have touched her like that. Finally, she brought both hands to my chest and shoved me off, trying in vain to catch her breath. "I can't do this," She panted, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she stared at me in shock. I wasn't sure if it was all acting at that point, because she seemed genuinely caught off-guard. I bit my lip, reaching out for her again, and she took a cautious step back. "I'm serious, Amma. We can't do this."

In the most pitiful voice I could muster, I whispered back to her, "Do what? We're not doing anything." I knew what it was like to be rejected, by Claire specifically, so it wasn't a stretch to put myself in my character's metaphorical shoes.

"Please," She started, sounding desperate, "Please just leave."

"Dr. Wilson —"

"Do you have any idea what you just did? Do you have any idea —"

"Rose!" I shrieked, tears welling in my eyes, "I'm scared, I don't know what to do. Don't make me go."

"This isn't a game," She raised her voice, sounding frantic, "You're confused and you're putting it on me, but none of this has anything to do with me. You don't want me — you don't even know me."