Cursing (Fred Weasley)

TWENTY-FIVE

After the kids had went to bed, Elle went to their bedroom and collapsed. She had never felt pain like this, not even when her mum died. It's not that she didn't love her mum very much, it's that the love she felt for her was very different than what she felt for Fred. She crawled over to Fred's drawer, longing to hold something of his, something that smelled of him.

She pulled out his favorite shirt, burying her face in it and willing herself not to cry. She just couldn't believe that he was gone. He was the love of her life, her true love. What reason did she have to live anymore? No, Elle, you can't think like that. The kids. They're the only living piece of Fred you have.

And so she cried. She cried for the father their children had lost, the uncle their nieces and nephews had lost, and the husband she lost. And all because of that fucker Marvello. Why? Why did he have to be such an evil fucking prick? Why did he feel the need to take everything away from them? It's not like his father was really that much to him.

She held onto the shirt, clutching it as if it gave her life itself. She was curled into a ball, making herself quite the pitiful sight on the floor.
——
The next morning, Sirius was not surprised to find Elle curled up in a ball on the floor, clutching what appeared to be one of Fred's shirts.

He debated for a moment before he bent down and nudged her. "Elle? Elle, wake up."

It didn't take much to wake her up. She immediately opened her eyes and groaned. Sleeping on the floor in a fetal position is not comfortable, to say the least.

"Please tell me it was all a dream," she whimpered sadly.

Sirius sighed sympathetically, wrapping his arms around her. "No, it wasn't," he murmured.

At this Elle burst into tears again, in complete and utter disbelief that he was really gone. "N-no! No! He's- he's at the sh-shop! He'll-he'll be back any-any moment n-now!" She insisted through her sobs. She shuddered in Sirius's arms with each sob, burying her face in Fred's shirt once more.

Sirius felt helpless. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say. Instead, he simply held her, rubbing her back as he let her cry. He remembered back to when Anne was killed. There was nothing anybody said that comforted him, nor was there anything he wanted anyone to say. He simply wanted someone to be there, someone to let him cry.

"D-dad, did-did it h-hurt this m-much w-when M-mum was kil-killed?" She asked through her tears, pulling away to look Sirius in the eyes.

He nodded sadly. "Yes. It did."

She cried more. "D-does it ever g-get better?"

Sirius thought for a moment. "Yes. It slowly gets easier to remember them without crying. Your true love is the one it hurts the most to lose, but they're never really gone. They're like the stars, Elle. You may not always be able to see them, but they're always there." (A/N: not my quote, creds to whoever's it is!!)

She nodded in understanding, however her tears kept flowing. "I don't want him to be gone, Dad," she replied, burying her head in his chest again.

"I know you don't. He didn't want to leave you or the kids. But it'll be okay, don't worry. He'll be with you until the very end."

She kept crying. "You're- you're right b-but I want to be able to t-touch him, he-hear his voice," she stuttered through her tears, struggling to keep herself from full on sobbing.

Sirius nodded, saying nothing. What could you say to that? He understood what she was feeling; he felt the exact same way when Anne was killed. He just wanted her. It was like Elle said: he wanted to be able to run his hands through her hair and to hear her wonderful laugh.

First Voldemort had taken Anne from Sirius, and now Marvello had taken Fred from Elle.

What do had the two Black family members done to deserve this? What had they done so wrong? Walburga and Orion had surely done much worse, and yet they still didn't suffer. Or did they suffer because they didn't marry for love? Sirius thought about that, about how at least he and Elle got to marry the ones they loved.

And both had gotten taken from them. Maybe the Black family was just destined to be miserable. Maybe marrying for love just guaranteed heartbreak. Maybe no one was supposed to marry for love. Maybe everyone was supposed to marry someone they didn't love; it's not like they would feel the pain both Sirius and Elle felt at the loss of Anne and Fred.

No, Sirius thought, I wouldn't trade my years with Anne for the world, and I'm sure Elle wouldn't trade her years with Fred for anything. No, love is the only reason to get married.

Elle and Sirius sat together on the floor, each lost in memories of their true love that they had lost. What can I do to make the pain end? Elle thought.