The Way You Kiss Me

Part 3

New Year's Eve was always one of my favorite holidays. It's such a hopeful day. Everyone is anticipating a new beginning. They are able to be renewed, cleansed from the sins of the prior year. You could smell the joy in the air, the leaping of a thousand hearts all together. That's why I loved the day. It was brimming and overflowing with hope.

I invited Atarah to a new years eve party. Surprisingly, she came. It was a very upscale party. The kind you wear a cocktail dress too. I was wearing an off the shoulder light pink cocktail dress. I turned around to see her. Atarah looked amazing. She was wearing a red dress that clung to her curves. She wore dangling diamond earrings. Her hair was in an intricate updo. She wore a bold red lipstick that identically matched her dress. She was breathtakingly beautiful.

"Hi, Hi" I stammered.

"Hey,What's up? How's the party?" She said doing a little dance

"It's good."

"Are you ok? You seem nervous."

"Yeah, yeah totally great. Want to dance?"

"I thought you'd never ask. "

She wasn't a bad dancer. She had rhythm, but she wasn't amazing. We danced the night away. A slow song came on. Everything has changed.

"Do you want to go get some food?"

"No," She said quickly grabbing my hand as I turned to go.

I laid my head on her shoulder and we danced. How middle schoolers dance on slow songs just moving in a circle attempting to match the beat. It was nice. I felt something, a type of stirring. Something that I wanted so badly to ignore because it couldn't be. I couldn't stop myself from the stirrings in my heart. I felt that they were matched. That feeling felt like beauty in its elegance and grace. I wanted to keep it forever, but it couldn't be

The time drew closer to midnight. Soon it was the ten second countdown.

"TEN NINE EIGHT SEVEN SIX FIVE FOUR THREE TWO ONE HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

Everyone was absolutely happy, triumphant. They had made it to yet another year. Atarah looked at me direct in the eyes. She pushed a curl back behind my ear tenderly. Her hand fell to the small of my back and she kissed me.I kissed her back. My hands naturally moving to her waist. She stopped then let go of me. She looked tense and frightened

"No, we can't. We can NEVER be! It's unnatural," she said with tears in her eyes.

Then, she split through the crowd scurrying away in a mess of tears and guilt. I tried to go after her, but she was gone.

I went to the bathroom and cried. Cried for the loss of something I knew could be beautiful. There is something about her that is absolutely breathtaking. The way she made me feel. I know I just met her a week ago, but there was a sparkle in her like no one else I have met. So I cried. I didn't understand why this was so wrong. I mean the Bible says a lot. I never told my own mother, because I knew what she would think. Something about my lips pressed against hers felt so right. Something about our awkward middle school slow dance felt so right. Something about her felt so right. Maybe she was right, this could never be. I desperately hoped that it could.