I walked into my room and let myself fall on my bed. I was absolutely exhausted. I'd basically spent the entire night hunting for the right billboard to vandalize. I sat in the back of Blake's pimp-mobile while he and Josh argued over the merit of this and that billboard like an old married couple. Like honestly, I was barely able to say a word here and there while they shouted at each other.
My boyfriend was such a weirdo sometimes.
And now I was absolutely exhausted.
My father knocked on my open door and I sat up on my bed, smiling at him. "Hey dad."
"Hey kid. So, I was going through your books the other day..."
I narrowed my eyes. "You were going through my stuff?"
My father suddenly looked at little sheepish. "Well.. no."
I gasped, pointing at him, "you were going through my stuff!"
"Technically it's called cleaning kid, ease up on your old man."
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, sure!"
"Anyway! I was going threw your teeny girly whiny—"
"Hey!" I said, cutting him off.
He ignored me and went on, "—books. And can I ask something?"
I frowned, worried. "Suuuuure."
"What's up with the parents?"
"Huh?"
"The parents?" he pressed. "They're always gone or complete tools. Why is that?"
"Don't ask me!" I answered, shrugging.
"They're cockblocking too," he exclaimed.
I threw my arms in the air. "You did not just say that!"
"It's true. Kid if I'm ever pathetic like those parents you have the right to tell me," he announced.
"Dear god..." I mumbled, covering my face in my palms.
"Also! If you ever bring home a vampire, a demon, whether he's Satan's son or not, a boy with more hair on his chest than on his head, aka Wolfie, I will disown you. Understood?"
I rolled my eyes. "Yes dad."
He grinned and ruffled my hair like I was some three year old. "Good kid."
"But dad," I started to say, thinking about it, "none of my book have vampire or demons or Satan's son's in it. Where the hell did you get that?"
"Google."
I sighed. "I'm not even going to ask..."
"Good kid. Oh, also, before I forget, here." He fished out of his pocked a fistful of condoms and gave them to me.
I didn't even touch them. I just backed away from them while he let them drop on my bed like they were venomous spiders. "Oh my god dad, not again!"
"What? Look at yourself, all tired from your night out with your boyfriend. I'm just trying to make sure you stay safe."
I pulled at my hair. "We're not having seeeex. How many times do I have to tell you?"
He was giving me a look, a schyeah right, kind of look. "I was young once too. And with the way you too make googly eyes at each other I'm just not buying it. You've got a cute boyfriend kid, you can't make me believe you're not hitting that." He seriously had not just said that. What kind of father did I have?
"Do you want to bet?" I challenged him. That usually got his attention.
He shook his head. "That's the one bet I'm not going to take."
I smiled sweetly. "Out of respect for your daughter? Thank you, dad."
"Nah," he snorted, "it's because it's not even worth betting on. It's a sure deal."
I made annoyed, pained sounds. "What about trusting your daughter and believing her when she tells you something?"
He waved the matter away, "Oh, that's totally from last year parenting guide. Now I prefer to just jump to conclusion and assume all of my kids have no control over their hormones. So far, two out of three have proven me right. Makes sense that you'd be like the other two rabbits in heat."
I stared at my dad deadpan. "I'm putting myself up for adoption."
My father just laughed and walked away.
Tyler decided to walk out of his room at that moment and peeked his head in my room, "What's up with dad?" he asked, pointing towards where dad had gone with his thumb.
"I'm not having sex alright!" I just exclaimed, which was like totally not the issue but whatever. I was not having sex and I had a hot boyfriend. I was a little wired up.
Tyler winked at me, doing finger guns. "yeaaaaah, sure."
I groaned. "I'm serious!"
He winked again dramatically. "Suuuuuuure."
"Why do you all not believe me?"
"Because it's totally believable that you're dating Blake-hottie and not banging him. If I ain't a virgin anymore, you're not either, sister."
I shook my hands in front of me like I was grabbing him and shaking some sense into him, "OH MY GOD! I'm not having sex!"
He winked again. "Yeah, keep repeating that, it makes it more convincing," he said and walked away too.
"I HATE YOU BOTH!" I yelled after him.
All I got in answer was laughter from the two bozos.
I let myself fall back against my pillows.
Family sometimes... ugh.
_______________
A/N: Hey guys! So, today is my 9 year anniversary here on Wattpad, it's also been seven years since I've completed "I Sold Myself..." and I decided to start off my tenth year on this lovely website with quite the bang. All day long, keep your eyes open. I have more surprises coming your way. :D
To celebrate with you, I'll be doing a livestream on instagram which I will start in about half an hour. Follow the external link to my instagram page (I'm at kaygiard) to spend an hour with me, asking questions and chatting together. If you would like for me to do other livestreams during the day just tell me a time and I'll try to make it work! :D
LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!
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