Chapter 8

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Chapter 8

When Castle's eyes opened, he first glanced at the wall clock across the room. It was 7 am. He yawned and stretched, and suddenly, gold and brown hair caught his attention. That's when he realized Kate was sleeping there, her head resting beside his chest. He knew how badly her neck would ache when she woke up. God! How long did she sleep here?, and how did he not notice?, was he that deep in sleep?

He put his hand to her shoulder and shook her a bit "Kate, Kate wake up." She lifted her head and looked up; she ran a hand over her face, pain shot through her neck and shoulders. She knew it would be a bad idea to sleep that way, but she was helpless, she needed to be close to him.

He looked at her, worry in his eyes, and said "Hey, how long were you here? Why didn't you sleep in bed?"

she sighed, realizing that all her muscle were now aching, "I couldn't sleep".

She saw the guilt in his eyes. But that wasn't her intention, she didn't want to make him feel any worse than he already was, so she quickly got up, he sat up too an she sat beside him. "How bad is the neck?"

she smiled, he knew she was in physical pain. She looked at him and said, "I can cope with it."

but Castle knew better. He smiled, and then turned a little, to catch her shoulders from behind, signalling her to turn herself a little too. And he began to massage her shoulders, and she felt her body relax under his touch.

This beautiful man, who had every right to leave her there in pain, as punishment for the pain she put him through, was here, massaging every caught up muscle in her shoulders and back, and it brought tears to her eyes again.

She wanted to tell him to stop, that she didn't deserve it; she didn't deserve the amount of care he was giving. But his hands felt like heaven on her, he knew exactly the right spots of tension in her body and he opened those painful knots with ease. Castle was a strong man, and his hands were gentle on her body, he was always so gentle with her.

She closed her eyes and allowed her body to enjoy his touch.

When she knew she was better, she turned back to him, and said "thank you"

he nodded his head and then opened his mouth to say something, but then turned away and stood.

She held his hand "Rick, listen…"

"Kate, don't you have to be at the precinct today?" he was shooing her away. She let go of his hand and looked down. She did have to be at the precinct. Gates would not let her take today off.

But being away from castle would only draw him furtherer away from her, and she didn't want that.

Castle looked at her, and saw the pain in her eyes; he hadn't meant to sound like he wanted her to go. So he tried to fix it. "Kate, why don't you go get ready… you're already late, I'll make you breakfast…"

she stood up "yea… I'll... I'll just go take a shower"

she almost turned to ask him to join her, but then walked forward in to their bedroom.

Castle picked up the sheets from the couch and went into the bedroom to make the bed. He then strolled out into the kitchen to get the coffee machine going.

After a while, he was standing in front of the sink mirror in their master bathroom, trying to open up a band aid for his scar. Kate walked out of the shower stall, wearing just a robe. She saw him struggling with the band aid and went up to him, "let me" she said.

she sat up on the marble of the sink, and peeled the band aid out of its adhesive covering, she then placed it gently over his scar and smoothed it out with her thumb and before he could pull away, she leaned in and brushed a kiss over it, and whispered "all better now" he smiled.

A small smile, but it was real. And that made Kate feel good.

They suddenly realized the position they were in: her sitting on the sink top, him standing between her legs and it made her heart beat fast. She so badly wanted to kiss him. To feel his lips on hers. She just wanted to feel close to him again. Her eyes flickered to his lips, and she noticed him look at hers too, she leaned in a bit, and just when her lips were a mere centimetre away from his, she felt his breath hitch. And he said "Kate…"

and she noticed the pain in his voice. She pulled back, and looked at him... "Rick, please, I'm … I'm sorry for everything that went down, and I just want to make things better between us..."

she placed one of her hands on his chest, just above his heart, and the other cupped his cheek. He had just had a clean shave, and it felt good to touch his smooth face. And she could feel his heartbeat, thudding through his chest.

"I want to fix this Rick, please" she was desperate. She needed this so badly.

Castle reached for her hands and place them on her lap and said "let's talk tonight, when your back home okay. I just… I need some time to think"

he looked down and walked away. Leaving Kate feeling defeated.

Kate dressed for work quickly and fed Joanne too. She had breakfast herself, and then kissed Joanne goodbye. She went upstairs to wish Alexis good luck, she was leaving to go back to college today, and Kate wanted to kiss her goodbye.

When she came back downstairs, Castle was seated on the couch, playing with Joanne, she grabbed her travel mug of coffee that Castle had prepared for her and then stood at the doorway and watched her husband play with their daughter. He loved her too much. She walked toward them and sat beside Joanne and said to her, "I'll be back home soon ok honey," she kissed the top of her head "you be a good girl and don't worry daddy too much."

Joanne looked up at her and said "ok mommy, I love you" she hugged her daughter and said "I love you more my little munchkin" she then got up and hesitated, cause Castle always walked her out every morning when she had to leave for the precinct, but he didn't seem to move today.

She took a step forward, telling herself it's alright, he just needs time, they'll talk tonight, and everything will be ok tomorrow.

That's when her little girl spoke up again "mommy, you forgot something… what about a kiss for daddy?"

Kate stopped in her tracks; she turned around and saw Joanne looking at her expectantly. She walked back to where they were, and leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of his head and whispered a soft "I love you Rick". She didn't wait to hear if he would reply to her or not, she was afraid it would hurt too much if he didn't. so she stormed out of the door and into the elevator.

Castle felt like an idiot. He had never allowed Kate to leave home without a kiss and a hug before.

Kate had a dangerous job; Chasing down murderers and criminals was not something normal people did. So he had always made it a point to kiss her goodbye every morning before she left.

God forbid if something bad were to happen, she needed to know he still loved her. But he had let her leave without so much as a look in her direction. He quickly reached for his phone and texted a quick message to her

'Stay safe ok.'

And after an hour, he received a reply from her that said "I will."

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