5. doubt boy

56.5K 3K 678
                                    

Chapter 5 — doubt boy

Josh finds himself walking towards the bridge the next night as well. However, his steps slow down as he nears his destined place, unwarranted doubts and uncertainties clouding his mind like a thick fog.

What if he isn't there, the blond can't help but think.

He squashes the thought as soon as it appears though, a contradicting view replacing its place: So, what is he isn't there?

Nevertheless, the mere thought of it — possibility of bridge boy not being there puts a frown on Josh's face, which, of course in turn stirs up a tornado of confusion in his mind. He doesn't get why the presence of that one boy would bother him senseless.

Josh has always visited the abandoned bridge, never once seeking for any company — the main reason for his visit being so that he can be alone. He particularly cherishes the moments that he is alone, as he feels those are the only times he can be himself without having to worry to please others of the expectations they have on him. It is the only time he feels free, unburdened.

Be that as it may, it surprises even himself how Josh is secretly hoping for a certain brunet to be at the bridge. That will certainly defeat the aim of Josh being along, but he can't help but want to be in his presence.

He has not known the boy for more than two nights (even barely so), and already he is looking forward to seeing him again so much, it scares Josh.

What is this, some kind of sorcery, Josh wonders to himself as ridiculous as it sounds.

Deep, deep down, Josh knows that the only reason he sneaked out on a school night is so that he can see the boy again — it isn't really in his habits to sneak out on school nights otherwise, he usually only does that during the weekends or holiday breaks.

There is no assurance really that the bridge boy will be there, but there is also no assurance that he won't be there, so Josh is willing to risk it.

He reaches Darkside much faster that he usually will and he walks to the bridge construction site, right up to the NO TRESPASSING board as if that is going to stop Josh.

Actually, it has never stopped the blond before but on that night, he pays extra attention to the little notice and then regards the barricade carefully. He has climbed over it countless of times before but right then a new queasiness sets in.

He feels it's a risky thing to even budge an inch, and so he stands perfectly still, frozen in spot. He only wills for his eyes to wander around, assess his surroundings.

Josh can see the half-constructed bridge from where he is standing — his view is partly obscured by the trees and short branches but he can still make out some part of it. And from what he can see, the bridge looks empty.

The blond doesn't know if he should be relieved or stumped by this observation.

Does he want the bridge boy to be there or not?

Only then he even notes how crazily fast his heart is beating in his rib cage — it almost feels like there are about a thousand wild horses stampeding in his chest and not just a simple organ pumping blood through his veins. He can't even make out anything but his impossibly loud heart; he reckons he won't be surprised if he gets a major stroke and dies right there and then.

And what breaks Josh out of his jerky disoriented state is the faintest sound of a twig snapping — as comical as it sounds. He regains control of limbs and unfreezes himself, quickly spinning around to scope the source of that miniscule noise. As it is dark, Josh can't really see much. He stops moving, listening for any other accompanying sound that may give him a clue as to if anyone else is there. He doesn't hear anything however.

Probably just the wind or an animal, Josh tells himself.

Taking in a deep breath, Josh steps closer to the barricade about to climb over but stops midway. He looks over at the bridge again.

Josh sighs, finally collecting just enough might to acknowledge the one particular thing that has gotten him all sorts of strung out: What if he is there?

Just as the blond acknowledges the thought, he sees or he thinks he sees someone at the bridge. He loses sight of them in a split second though so he isn't able to actually make out who it is but there is a good chance that it may be the bridge boy, and that is more than enough for him to decide.

My heart can't take this, Josh takes a small step back. Yeah, definitely not, he agrees with himself, taking another step back.

And then without sparing any further thought, Josh turns right around and walks away from the bridge, and doesn't stop until he is back in his home again, in his own room, in his bed.

⋘⋙

the boy on the bridge ✔️Where stories live. Discover now