Paper Training

Episode IV: No, These Are The Worst Outfits

Welcome back to MojoVision's "The Amazing Nightcrawler and the Fearless Wolverine!" This season promised an epic love saga across the ages, and boy, have we delivered! We've seen our heroes fight to reunite with their heart's desires across the Middle Ages, the high seas, and Old Arabia!

Our last episode saw the fearless women, the objects of affection for our heroes, fall to temptation in an Arabian palace. With no way to save themselves, it was up to their dashing companions to save them!

This might have been the most emotional reunion yet, as viewers saw the Wolverine and Nightcrawler reunited with their lady loves in a state of disarray. Such gentleness! Such care! Such raw emotion!

Until then, our heroes had been bound together by the bands of friendship, as well as a little something more solid, but for such stakes, we decided to even the odds — and the rewards were tender and sweet as much as they were bloody and brutal!

In this latest episode, we take our band of heroes and lovers to a time long before anything they have seen thus far. The stakes are higher than ever as their very surroundings are out to kill them. Will we see another touching reunion? Or will this episode end in tears and bloodshed? Only time — and the next episode — will tell!

Logan was first to wake up, and for a moment, he was reasonably sure that they were in the Savage Land, seeing as the place smelled like jungle and polar winds. When he rolled onto his side, he groaned as he glanced down and then reached over to shake Kurt awake. "Kurt. I'm blaming you. I don't know how — but I'm blaming you."

Kurt took a moment to wake up, still a bit tired as he said, "What have I done this time?"

"Commentary about the outfits," Logan said with a glare. "Looks like we don't get much this time."

Kurt glanced down at the skins that were barely covering them from the waist and just shook his head, deciding for the moment not to touch the subject. "Where are we this time, then?" he asked at last as he climbed to his feet.

"Looks and smells like the Savage Land," Logan replied.

Kurt let out a sigh as he looked around the jungle before he spotted the spears lying not far from where they were and ported over to check them for traps first before he picked them both up and tossed one to Logan. "No swords this time," he said. "That's a disappointment."

"And still no claws," Logan said with a shake of his head. He let out a sigh as he looked around. "Alright. Let's ... find the girls and crack 'em over the head or somethin'. Drag 'em off to a cave."

"Doing Mojo's work for him, I see," Kurt said, smirking the slightest bit.

"Just gettin' ideas, that's all," Logan laughed.

Kurt chuckled in response and gestured with his spear for Logan to lead the way. "I'm sure it won't be too difficult to find them. Unless they've been drugged, we're sure to hear them yelling at the dinosaurs or something."

"K, I was wrong before. These are the worst outfits," Kate said as she took K's arm and shook her awake, sounding almost resigned at this point.

K glanced down at her 'outfit' and all but screamed out her frustration in a string of very Swedish sounding expletives before she angrily got to her feet and just glared at what little was covering her ... everything. The furs hardly qualified as a bikini, let alone an outfit, and that didn't exactly allow for freedom of movement if they wanted to stay covered.

"We are getting out of here one way or another, because frankly — I'm afraid next time we're gonna wake up with two band-aids and a postage stamp. And that is not a suggestion."