don't forget me//browan season3 story

1

brandon
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I've done some fucked up shit. But never would I shoot up the school. I dont even own weapons, honestly. So I'm being falsely accused. But I don't care. I've lost everything. Dad doesn't give two shits about me, unless you count the abuse. Trevor probably thinks I'm a dumbass (I agree.) . And of course.... Rowan. I miss her. The only thing left I have is her necklace. I didn't mean to take it but after our last talk, she told me she should've stayed away from me. Maybe she was right. I wasn't safe or stable then. But I wanted her to be safe. And if that meant I couldn't be with her, then I guess it would have to be like that. But before I left her house I took the necklace. I needed something. It's been 2 months, 3 months in four days actually, since I've been here. I'm supposed to get out then, at three months. But what am I gonna go back to? The zoo? No. Never again. I will never touch technology again if that's what it takes but no. And Rowan? She probably doesn't want me. I don't think she ever did. It's like I broke my own heart by getting my hopes up. And then remembering how I literally ruined her life, and probably broke her heart way worse. Not even in a romantic way. I ruined her reputation. Two months alone with my thoughts really did a number on me. And two months without Row.
No one will ever forget you, Rowan Fricks. Is what I had said. And I was right. I would never forget her.
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rowan
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I used to think you couldn't be mad at someone and miss them. It's how I felt about my mom. I hated her. I still do. Sorta. I hate what she did to me. Dad, brie. She had no right to cheat twice. It was fucked up. But I missed her somehow. I missed a mother figure. It just wasn't the same as dad or Brie. If moms and dads were the same you wouldn't need two. And sometimes you don't. But i did. Or at least I wanted two. Just some things just you can't talk to your dad about. Like brandon. Another person I'm mad at, but I miss. And Nicki. I feel so upset about her. She blatantly lied to me. She told me she wouldn't do anything and then only a day later, maybe not even, she did the same exact thing I told her not too. It wasn't fair. But I liked her so much, so I miss her. I've lost almost everyone. Elisia and I will never be the same because of Jake. Hailey and I too, but not because of a boy. Just because it's too different.

I know Elisia hurt herself. I told myself I'd never do that. Not after her. Not after Nicki. But it didn't help that I locked Brandon up, just after I fell for him.
I regret the decision everyday that Stinger called in that fake claim. I should've stopped him. I don't even know how long his sentence was. I hate what he did to me, haley, and Elisia. But I love him. He probably hates me. Which I think I deserve at this point. But anyways.
I told myself not be like elisia and hurt myself.  It doesn't fix anything. But it makes me feel less bad. I don't know. It doesn't make sense.
I felt safe with Brandon even though he was a terrible person to me. He felt really protective and caring, but now he probably never even thinks about me, let alone cares.

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the next day at school

****

I ran into the bathroom after yet another anxiety attack. I got a message on my phone and it was a flash. I freaked and didn't open it, even though it was just from Haley. I'm sitting on the sink and breathing heavily, when I hear the door open.
"Rowan?" A boys voice says. I jump off the sink and pretend to be washing my hands. He walks into the bathroom, standing next to me. It's Trevor. A little backstory about Trevor.

I didn't think he'd be my biggest fan until recently when I tried to talk to him after realizing my mom cheated with his dad, causing his parents to divorce. I cant believe that I didn't even know about that. I felt bad, and I wanted to try and make things better so we've talked a few times briefly. He's nicer to me now, when Brandon isn't around. It's like he was an enabler to Trevor's asshole-ness.
"Oh. Hi Trevor." I say.
"What's wrong?" He asks. He looks at my arms,  I know he sees.
"Nothings wrong. Just..." I stutter. He nods his head.
"uh, ok." He says as he looks down. "Row..." he says. He puts his hand on my arm. He looks at me like he's asking a question but without words.
"Why do you care?" I snap.
"Row. Chill, first off. Do you remember that note?" He asks. I nod. "I want to try and get closer with you. I know I was a huge asshole and overall shitty person before. But I want to be different. And I want to be your friend," He explains. I smile back. I feel like he could actually be a good friend, if maybe he dropped his huge ego for ten minutes. Which seems to had happened now.
"Yeah. We can be friends. We should start over." I say.
"How?" I turn around and then turn back to him quickly. "Hi. I'm Rowan Fricks. Nice to meet you," I say as I shake his hand barely. He smiles and shakes back.
"I'm Trevor. Nice to meet you, Rowan." I smile and say,
"I'll see you at lunch, but I probably should get back to science."
"Wait, really quick." He says before I walk out. "Do you ever think about him?" He asks quietly while looking down.
"Who?" I know who he's talking about.
"Brandon." He answers.
"All the time." I sigh. He looks up and nods. He does too. I walk out and wave. Brandon Darrow. Usually I think that most of the time only boys say "the one who got away," But He really was the one who got away.