NINETEEN | CHANGLIX

YEAR FOUR

THE FOURTH YEAR their parents took them to a nature reserve for the weekend.

Stepping out the car Changbin was immediately scolded for kicking the rocks, sand flying lightly before settling back down. He couldn't understand why his parents hated it so much when the feeling was so fun.

"You're getting sand everywhere!" His mother frowned, dusting off her dress, a soft blue adorned in intricate flower patterns.

"But it already is everywhere!" Her four year old replied, causing a small smile to grow as she tutted. Over the years she had never realised when he had grown so cheeky, in fact she had never realised when he had grown so much at all.

"Alright kids, lets go find a bench and then you can go play," the voice belonged to Felix's father who was carrying the picnic bags as well as his three year old son, the small bundle of joy bouncing on his shoulders.

Walking through the paths, light darting through the tree branches, the families looked picture perfect walking next to each other; two loving couples with two loved children, dressed accordingly for the calm Summer's day.

Soon they arrived at a clearance, a small sign pointing in different directions. Changbin who had just started learning to read and write, squinted as he concentrated on pronouncing the words carved in the wood.

"The.... d-ducks are over there!" He pointed to a little lake as he read, his back arched ever so slightly with pride.

Upon hearing Felix became excited, the younger was fond of animals — his room littered with countless soft toy versions. Tapping at his father's head he bent down to his ear, "Please can we go look at the ducks?"

"Hm... okay but stay with Changbin and Changbin make sure to stay where we can see you both!"

Once he was lowered Felix immediately sprang away, reaching out for Changbin's hand as he was consumed in excitement for the ducks. Rushing through the bushes, Changbin listened as the younger babbled on about how he was going to name one, the excitement catching on to himself.

As they got nearer to the lake they took in how large it looked up close. The day was warm, multiple birds enjoying it as they floated atop the water, one occasionally squawking and distrusting the others. Overall, the peace remained, no disruption strong enough to completely steal it away.

"Look Binnie it's you!" Felix giggled pointing to a swan that stood out from the rest, one of its features particularly prominent. "It has a big nose too!"

"My nose isn't that big!" Changbin retorted back, mortified as he cupped his nose and looked down. To be truthful he had recently found himself staring in the mirror, disliking how the feature was far too large for his face.

"I'm just kidding Hyung." Felix stated, giggling even harder at the other's strop. Changbin disliked the current conversation very much and felt a sudden heat spring to his cheeks.

"Whatever, just watch the ducks."

Suddenly Felix's giggles quietened down, Changbin refusing to look up knowing he had sounded rude.

"Why won't you look up Hyung?" Felix questioned quietly.

The older kicked at the dirt lightly, "Because I'll end up taking my anger out on you when I'm only angry at myself."

Changbin continued to stare at his feet, a small ant had crawled onto his shoe and he watched as it scrambled over the laces.

Suddenly two smaller feet settled opposite his, joining his vision. Peering up slightly, he saw Felix. The younger's freckles were becoming more visible now as stared at Changbin, a frown on his features.

"Don't be mad Binnie," he pouted before gently tip toeing and planting a kiss on his nose. "I actually think your nose makes you look even cooler." The frown was instantly replaced with a smile of honesty.

Changbin's grudge immediately melted as the warmth of their friendship seeped into his heart.

"I can't stay mad at you Felix, it's impossible."

They continued to watch the birds, naming them until they had used up all their cartoon characters and classmates, losing count of who they'd even previously labelled.

It was only fifteen years later when he was in the convenience store shopping for late night ramen, Changbin smiled to himself as he recalled the memory — joy tainted with longing overcoming him.

Out of all the ducks, Felix had chosen him to be the swan.