All About Your Heart // Stiles Stilinski

Chapter 14 ~ The Epitome of Adorable

Emma's P.O.V.    

"Emma, can I talk to you?"

The smile on my face faded and I froze as I heard the familiar voice speak from behind me. Allison and Lydia watched carefully with wide eyes as they waited for me to respond to Stiles. The whole point of them bringing me to the bowling alley tonight was so I could work things out with him, but I did not have the courage to approach him myself. Obviously it does not matter now, considering that Stiles came to me.

I felt my mouth go dry as I turned around and looked up at him. He appeared to be just as nervous as I was. He fiddled with his hands and waited as I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I couldn't even form the simplest words to respond to his question, so I nodded instead. Then Stiles grabbed my hand and headed for the door, forcing me to leave Lydia and Allison behind.

Stiles stopped abruptly once we approached his jeep. His hands were shoved deep in his pockets as he rocked nervously back and forth on his heels. I couldn't help but feel self concious as he watched me closely, his gaze never leaving mine. I was still having trouble finding the right words to say, so it was silent. Neither one of us looked away from each other, but no words were being spoken which only made the silence feel more awkward.

The quiet gave me a moment to work out what I should say to Stiles. But what I should say and what I wanted to say are two completely different things.

What I should say is that we should pretend nothing happend between us. That I am simply not as ready as I thought I was to be in a relationship at the moment and we should not move past the friendship level.

What I want to say is that I really, really hope we can work this out because I care about you more than I thought I did and kissing you was the best and worst thing I could have ever done and I probably should regret this more than I do because I don't want to lose what we already have but I really, really like you more than words can comprehend and I don't want to go back to the way things were before. I want to be with you.

Of course, I don't have the courage to tell him that.

I wish I knew exactly how he felt. Whether he didn't mind the kiss or if the whole situation disgusted him. I have had plenty of time to mull over what happened and how this could change our friendship for better or for worse. I went through several stages of different emotions and at this point, I know what I want. But there is still one thing holding me back.

It's not regret. Because after I thought about it, I don't regret kissing Stiles at all. In fact, if I could, I would do it again. I would kiss the crap out of that kid.

The problem is based off of my own fears. It's actually sort of silly, and I don't know why I'm suddenly so aware of it now, but after what I went through with Mason, I wasn't sure I could ever let my guard down with a boy again. But then I met Stiles, and every thing is so different with him. He's sweet, and adorable, and awkward, and he is all I have ever wanted and more.

But there is still this nagging voice in the back of my head telling me to be careful. I know Stiles would never hurt me, however, I can't help but feel hesitant about letting my guard down completely, and I'm not sure he would understand my reasoning, which is why I'm not going to explain it.

Despite my fear of being hurt again, I cannot shake my feelings towards Stiles or the fact that I want nothing more than to be with him. All I can hope for now is that he wants the same thing.

Stiles' P.O.V.   

"I don't like what's been happening between us."

Emma jumped, startled that I had actually broken the ongoing silence.