Hidden Queen Book 1

Chapter 15

Death is nothing like I thought it would be. It's not the peace I had hoped for and there's definitely no light at the end of the tunnel. Instead I feel like I'm lost in a sea of black so dark it seems endless. At times It feels like I'm floating and then I feel like it's swallowing me whole and drowning me completely. The pain hits again and I feel like I'm being ripped apart and all that left is endless pain. Shouldn't it have stopped by now? I know I'm died. I felt my heart struggling to beat before it couldn't take any more. I felt it stop.

This must be Hell, I've ended up in Hell after everything. Now that the thought has entered my head, my insides start to feel warm and then all of a sudden too hot. Way too hot. Like I'm flying to close to the sun and I've caught on fire. I'm melting from the inside out. Just as quick as it started it ends and in its place is my heartbeat. Beating so strongly that it shocks me after feeling empty for what feels like forever.  My eyes fly open  to see  beautiful emerald green eyes staring back at me. They are nothing like the twins empty dead eyes. It's close to their colour but these eyes are filled with so much life and emotions. I can feel myself calm slightly before the darkness claims me and my heart fights to stay beating again.

Maybe I didn't end up in Hell after all because those eyes can't belong to anything evil so  I convince myself for now that I was just given a glimpse of heaven right before the darkness once again takes hold and I feel deaths hand reaching for me again.

Being stuck like this I have too much time to think now that the pain has faded to a dull burn. Think about how things went downhill so fast with Jack. His reaction has left me angry and confused and I'm sure if I could feel my heart properly I'd find a nice big crack with Jacks name on it. I wish I could erase that moment from my mind completely but it's burned right in there.

As much as thinking about Jack hurts me. Thinking about Mason is crippling and I full body cringe as I remember walking away from him without so much as a word. I should have stopped and turned around or at least waited for him but instead I was too wrapped up in my own anger to stop and realise I had gone too far. The thought of him feeling me die hurts more than anything. I never wanted him to experience that pain. I've probably landed him in a world of shit.

It's hard to tell how long I've been like this between glimpses of green eyes and the warmth that makes me feel alive. Sometimes I drift off to sleep in between both worlds and it feels like I'm dreaming. Nothing special just images of a room and the feeling of being moved around. In my dreams, I can feel my heart is beating in more of a natural rhythm and it feels like it's getting stronger. The pain is nothing  before all I can feel nowvis a dull ache around my chest.

With each new dream they feel like there getting longer and feel more real. I'm barely in the dark anymore. But this dream is more vivid and  seems different. If I can even call it a dream. I can feel my heart beating steadily in my chest as I feel my chest rise and fall with each breath. Am I alive? I feel more alive than I have felt in what feels like forever. Then I  feel something gently touching my skin and then someone is moving my hands around as I realise it's a wet cloth. Someone is washing me. I can feel all of it as the can voices whispering around me become more clear. 

My heart starts to beat faster as reality sets in. I try to move my body, any part of it as I  force my eyelids to  open. Blinking slowly at first i try to let my eyes adjust to the light. After a few moments I  can finally make out my surroundings. The first thing I notice is that I'm most definitely not in the pack house or even close a werewolf. The only scent I can pick up is vampire. The scent lingers in the air around me. But I pick up on another distinctive scent. One that has me breathing deeply to try and hold onto it  because it's intoxicating. Before I can figure it out a woman appears in front of me with all the telltale signs of a vampire. Instead of making me wary of an attack she instantly puts me at ease with a friendly smile that lights up her face making her even more beautiful if thats possible. Her warm blue eyes sparkle as another smile spreads across her face showing me a glimpse of her fangs.