Chapter 45 Caught

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"Opps?" Blair was the first one to break the silence, before walking past Hayley and leaving the room.

"Hay-"

"What did she say?"

I swallow but don't say anything mostly because I forgot how to talk.

"A quick fuck?, is that why she came here? Did you sleep with her"

"Hayley, listen to me ok-"

"What did she mean by that Zayn!"

" I messed with her before, back in Bradford. But that was before I met you, before I grew feelings for-"

"Don't lie to me!" She raised he hand cutting me off. "Who did you get in a fight with" she said calmly.

"What?"

"The bruise on your neck, it wasn't from a fight was it"

I bite my lip, shaking my head.

How can I tell the women I care abut that I slept with someone else. "Hayley... " I swallow the bile, as I continue "the mark on my neck, on your neck is a..." I pause again and grab her my the neck where the mark is "it's a love mark,"she shakes her head, rapidly and I want to stop it all. Stop the story, stop all the lies, and most importantly stop hurting her, but the words kept flying out. "When you went out with Harry I didn't know what to do and Blair was there..." She tries to pull her hands away from me, but I don't let her, I need her, I need some part of her. "One thing led to another and we..."

Hayley's hand finds its way out of my grin and lands on my cheek. I don't even try to hold my cheek, no matter how much it hurts. Instead I desperately searching for her hands, hold.

"You jerk how could you do this to me... to us... and you lied about it the first time" I walk closer to Hayley but she slaps me again.

"She gave you a hickey and you..." She stops herself mid way to groan "you... you... Asshole! She just brand-telling everyone that she owns you. Then you, then you come to me giving me the same thing like you own me?"

Before I could even say anything back Hayley slap me again, for the third time. I just let her keep slapping know that I messed up with her and if slapping me helps, I'm fine with it.

"You're right I'm an asshole, I shouldn't have slept with her, I shouldn't have lied to you, and I shouldn't have branded you without making us official. I saw Hayley's hand coming to my face again, but I stop her. I grab her hand and bring her into my arms. Hayley tries to pull back but I hold tight on to her. She stops fighting and starts to cry. I hold in my tears knowing that I hurt the women I truly care about for a moment of weakness or jealously. I try comforting her in the best way I can, but she yelling so loud I don't think she can hear me "I hate you, I hate you so much Zayn"

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I laid with Hayley on my bed and hold her tight. She cries on my chest and I continued to rub her back, whispering "I'm so, so sorry" over and over again. God I hope she forgives me. Hayley squeezed me back and I can feel that she is calming down. I whispered in her ear "Hayley I'm so sorry, I would never hurt you again". She hold me even tighter and my shirt fills with her tears. Hayley finally stops crying and I kiss her on her forehead and "Hayley I love you."

I know it's not the perfect time to be confessing something like this, but I do. I love Hayley, and I don't want her to leave. There has only been five women I ever truly love. My mom, my sisters and Hannah. As much as I loved Hannah, I know for a fact that what I feel for Hayley is true. I'm just angry at how long it took me to realize this-What Hayley and I have, this is what I want, need.

Hayley opens her eyes "I love you" just hearing her say 'I love you' give me faith that we can work out. Despite all the pain I put her through, we might still have a chance.

"I love you so much Zayn, but you hurt me"

I fell a tear drop on my cheek and I wanted to wipe it off, but I didn't want to remove my arms around Hayley. Instead I let if fall "I know, I know I hurt you and it kills me" Hayley lifts her head off of my chest "You didn't just hurt us, you ruined us, I don't know how we can ever move pass this" hearing the words 'ruined' leaving Hayley's mouth breaks my heart. I couldn't hold back anymore, the tears that I held ever since I slept with Blair pours out of me.

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