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Twas a chill day in the house. No body really had anything to do, anything to play, anything to cook, they weren't expecting any visitors. So they all just laid around the floor of the living room, trying to figure out something to do.

"Water balloon fight?" Roy suggested.

"No, we already did that," Pit said.

"Uh, fashion show?" 

"Peach, no. No matter how many times you ask it's not happening," Samus said.

"Wanna wrestle?" Ike asked.

"That sounds awfully-"

"Palutena."

"Sorry!"

"Well then what do you wanna do?!" Samus yelled. There was a sudden knock on the front door followed by the door bell. 

"I got it!" Palutena yelled and ran to the door. She put on a wide grin and opened the door to a young woman with red hair. Palutena's grin disappeared. This chick looks familiar, she thought. "Um, how may I help you?"

"Yes, hi, I'm looking for Link," the young woman said. Palutena raised an eyebrow and turned her head to Link, who was reading a book. She turned back to the woman. "And you are?"

"I'm Palutena, Link's friend."

"Friend, huh? Just friends, right?" The woman gave her a glare and puffed out her cheeks. 

"Yes, just friends, I'm not interested, now-"

"Good, he's mine."

"Wh-what? You-? You think he's-?  Ugh, whatever, now who the hell are you?"

"Palutena!" Marth yelled from inside.

"Oh shut up! Now, who the hecking heck do you think you are?"

"I'm taking Link to the carnival near town."

"Carnival, eh? And that didn't answer my question! Who are you?"

"I told you I'm taking Link to the carnival!"

Palutena face palmed. "Do you speak another language?! I'm asking for your name!"

"Why should I tell you?"

"Oh my- you are really effing dumb, aren't you? Just tell me your name so we can get this over with, dammit!"

"How rude! I'm Link's future girlfriend, and quite a cute farm girl named Malon." 

Palutena's eyes went wide and something inside her clicked. This seems awfully familiar- WAIT A MINUTE! She spun Malon around and kicked her ass.

"NO LEAVE! We don't need you ruining ZeLink in another story! You can go and fuck yourself!" Palutena yelled.

"HEY WA-!"

"AU REVOIR, BITCH!" Palutena yelled and practically slammed the door on her face. She sighed and turned back to the others, who were all staring at her wide eyed. Pit had his finger pointed at her, a terrified look on his face.

"Y-you cu-cursed!" He stuttered. She huffed and crossed her arms, glaring at the ground.

"I think she's worthy of me cursing! She's ruined Zelink too many times and I will not allow her to even scratch this Zelink!" 

"I swear, you and your stupid ships," Samus groaned.

"Um, who was she anyway?" Link asked.

"Some girl named Melon," Palutena said.

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