A Compelling Life

7. Old pictures that I'll always see

Venice beach, July 3rd, 1987

"Ugh, Karen. Enough with the pictures already. I didn't choose the model life you know." Corey tosses a cigarette butt out of the moving car and smiles at me. I'm next to him on the passengers' seat from where I was hoping to secretly shoot some snapshots of him, but the distinct sound of my Polaroid camera gave me away. He just looked so at ease and natural, with the ocean breeze running through his hair, driving on the busy freeway with one hand on the steering wheel and casually holding a cigarette in his other one.

It's the small moments like this that I'm trying to capture. The moments that may seem insignificant while they occur, the moments that you'll probably forget in time. But I just know that years from now, when I'll look at the images of the 4 of us in Corey's car, I'll remember how I felt that day. How I was- how I am-really excited, with a hint of nervous anticipation, since I'm about to model for my very first photo shoot in L.A. How I'm glad that Corey, Vicky and Paulina are with me on the way to Venice beach, their comforting presence providing me with implicit moral support. How we're driving past palm trees and tall buildings while we all sing along to Queens greatest hits, not caring that we all can't sing for shit, because we do it with unconditional devotion. Especially Paulina, who doesn't know all of the lyrics to 'Somebody to love' but is not afraid to completely make them up herself.

"Each morning I get on a battlefield, I'm scared to stand on my feet,
take a look in the mirror, and see what's it doing to me
I spend all my life in a prison cell, someday I'm gonna be free
Can anybody find me somebody to loooove!"

I'll remember us laughing out loud until our sides hurt, and how I'm thankful to be a part of this happy bunch of lunatics I call friends now. I do think it's a good thing that polaroids don't contain sound though.

**********************

"Okay Karen, knock 'em dead! We'll pick you up here around 6." I watch Corey's car disappear into a shimmering heat haze as I make my way to the small trailer that's set up at the boardwalk. Camera and light equipment is already installed at the stretched out beach near the deep blue ocean. It all looks so professional and I kinda feel as if it's my first day at a new school.

The door to the trailer opens and out comes an attractive girl with caramel skin, her raven hair tied up into an intricate pattern of a 1000 small braids. "You must be Karen!" she states "I'm Brandy, I'll be doing your hair and makeup today."

After Brandy introduces me to Nigel, the photographer, and to the others that'll be working on set today, we head back to the trailer where I sit down in front of the vanity.

"Corey couldn't make it today?" she asks while skillfully placing curlers in my honey blonde hair.

"No, he's picking me up later, he had to drop Paulina and Vicky off in Beverly Hills".

Brandy nods in understanding. "He usually tags along when one of you girls have a shoot to assist me, he's a great makeup artist. But it's hard to catch a break for him, most agencies prefer women as a stylist."

"Yeah, he's a real wizard with the make up brush. I found that out a few days ago when I had this meeting with my agent while I was hungover as fuck. He literally saved my ass with his camouflage skills that day, " I snicker.

She furrows her eyebrows in amusement "Damn, you had to go and meet the dragon lady, with a hangover? That must have been scary as hell".

I laugh; meeting my agent, Helena, for the first time was not the most delightful experience of my life, to say the least. "I know, it was like she could see right through me, giving me a lecture about how I shouldn't lose myself in the cesspool of depravity that L.A. is and that I should rather focus on my work and all."

"Yup, she's a bitch all right. I'd say you can do both, you only live once!" she exclaims.

"Totally agree with you on that one," I answer, turning around to face her so she can work on my make up.

When I see myself in the mirror after she's finished, it's like looking at a better version of myself. Glossy curls cascade over my shoulders, my blue eyes are popping and my skin looks flawless and sun-kissed. "Wow Brandy, thanks! You did a great job!"

"At your service," she reacts shyly. "Now go get dressed-or undressed in this case-and kick some ass over there."

I slip out of my clothes and into my bikini and make my way up to Nigel. It's showtime!

********************

"Place your right hand on your hip and look at the horizon for me-turn your face a little to the right-yeah, that's amazing. Great shot right there."

The afternoon passes by in a blur of shutter sounds and sunlight, and I'm absolutely loving every minute of it. Nigel seems to be happy with the shots he took so far, which is a relief, and everybody's just being really nice and complimentary to me, treating me like I'm already a supermodel.

"Ok people, let's take a break and wait for the sun to set for the final shoot," Nigel announces after a few more shots of me underneath one of the palm trees.

Exhausted but satisfied, I plunk down next to Brandy on one of the folding chairs, lighting up a cigarette.

"Don't know if you noticed Karen, but you seem to have a fan," Brandy smiles, pointing in the direction of a guy that's standing on the boardwalk a few feet away. 

SHIT. He stands out in the Venice beach crowd of roller-skaters, surfers and bodybuilders like a sore thumb; I'd recognize that fiery red hair and pale complexion from miles away. What the fuck is Axl doing here?

"You know him?" she asks when she sees the expression of surprise on my face. I just nod, unable to speak when I see that he's making his way over to me. "I'll leave you guys to it then" she proclaims with a smug grin.

"Mind if I bum one of ya?" He casts me that irresistible sexy smile of his as I hand him a smoke. He lights it and inhales deeply, his eyes gliding over my entire body without saying a word-but the look on his face speaks volumes about what's on his mind right now.

"What are you doing here, Axl?" I decide to break the silence that's gotten a little bit uncomfortable by now.

"You didn't call me". It's not so much an answer as it is a light acquisition, and it pisses me the hell off. Really? Is he seriously expecting ME to apologize for something when HE was the one snapping at me and getting me caught in the crossfire between him and Slash the other night? 

But I don't want to cause a scene while I'm at work, so I just mutter: "Yeah, I've been busy".

"Are you busy tonight?" God, the fucking arrogance on that man. Makes me wanna slap that stupid grin off of his face and jump his bones at the same time.

It takes a lot of willpower to keep my cool, I'll tell you that. "I don't know, Corey and the girls had plans to stay in tonight." It's a straight-out lie, but I'm not giving him the satisfaction of being easy to please when he doesn't even have the courtesy to say sorry.

He shrugs his shoulders. "You can bring the girls, we're playing in the Troubadour tonight at 9. I can put you guys on the guest list."

"What about Corey?"

"Yeah, guess you can bring him too" he reacts indifferently.

"I'll think about it," I bluff, knowing very well that I'll be at the Troubadour at 9 sharp, wearing my sexiest outfit. 

"Karen, you ready for the final shoot?" Nigel shouts, picking up his camera.

"Duty calls," I excuse myself.

Axl grabs my waist and pulls me close to kiss my neck, just behind my left ear, sending shivers of excitement down my spine. "I'll see you tonight then".