NOCTURNE » Nathan Prescott

» i. home

"And you're sure you've packed everything?" my sister asked as she picked up the two small bags. I just rolled my eyes and shoved her towards the door, wanting nothing more than to get out of this place once and for all.

While Mia already went outside to get her car, I had to stop by the front desk and sign some paperwork.

The grey-haired nurse smiled at me in the same reserved manner everybody else in this place did.
They gave me my pills, some copies of the files, and finally the paled gate buzzed loudly, closing behind me and I was allowed to leave.

Taking a few deep breaths I headed down the stairs, and as two security guards opened the front door for me I felt the fresh autumn air hit my face. I nodded at the two men, exited the building and slid into the passengers seat of my sister's car.

"Dude, mom and dad are gonna cry," she spoke as she hit the gas pedal and speeded down the narrow road, leading down the hill and out of the forest.

"Come on, don't act like I didn't see that one tear slipping down your cheek earlier," I replied, poking her arm. She let out a laugh and swatted my hand away. "Okay okay, but seriously, I missed you."

I felt a smile tugging at my lips as I looked out of the window, seeing the trees flying by.

"Don't you ever do something like that again, or I'm gonna kill you."

It was silent for a few seconds until we both chuckled, and I let out a sigh. "I'm still not exactly in a good place, but I'm better. They wouldn't let me out of there if there was still any shred of doubt," I explained, still not fully comprehending that I was free now -- well, more or less. There would be regular checkups with the local psychiatrist and I still had to take my medication, but I wasn't stuck in that prison anymore. I could live.

Although at first I was just mad that I had survived, by now I was glad I did. Being in such a dull and empty environment had taught me to find beauty in certain things -- like the way the leaves changed colour, or how peaceful a rainy night was, or how people's noses scrunched up while smiling.
There was even beauty in the the hopelessness of the entire place, but it was far from desirable.

"A penny for your thoughts?" My sister's voice chimed as she stopped at a red light; I just shrugged.

"Must be weird just leaving, huh?"
I nodded. "It is. I never liked that place, but I did learn a thing or two. About life and … other things."

"Oh I don't know if I ever told you that, but after you were admitted, dad bought a fuckton of books in order to understand what was going on. We all read some of them, and oh boy am I glad we did. I would have totally just assumed you were spiralling and just imagining things but dude…"

I looked over at her, eyes still fixed on the road.

"Yeah that shit's way more than just imagination." - "I realised."

We passed the town sign of Arcadia Bay and I felt a lump form in my throat the closer we got to our house.
"Nervous?" I nodded again. "Don't be. It's home, you're safe there."

After a while, almost outside of town again, she pulled into the driveway; the door opened almost immediately and I caught a quick glance of our parents. Getting out of the car my mother engulfed me in a tight hug, slowly swaying me from side to side, brushing her hand through my hair.

We were only ever allowed to talk to each other, and there was always a table in between and people around us. I took in the light scent of her perfume, and felt her frizzy hair on my face and before I knew it I felt tears well up behind my eyelids.

"I'm so happy you're here," she whispered and I wrapped my arms around her even tighter. "Me too."

She then placed her hands on my shoulders and studied me from head to toe, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "I'm gonna go make dinner, you say hello to your father."

I smiled at her as she retreated to the house and turned to my dad, who held out his arms hesitatingly -- his hug was a lot more firm but I could feel his shoulders trembling slightly. "Welcome back," he said as he let go of me.

"Thank you."

Until dinner was ready I brought my bags upstairs to my room, only to find it almost completely empty.
"Dad threw everything out. The uh … the doctor told us about how many of your breakdowns you had in here and recommended we'd revamp the entire thing. You know to uh- to avoid relapse caused by memories flooding back in and stuff."

Nodding yet again I turned to my sister who pointed towards her room. "You can sleep in my bed tonight, there's enough space for two. And then tomorrow we go buy new stuff for your room."

"That'd be great. I didn't like it anyway." - "Thought so."

A bit later we were called downstairs for dinner; and as we sat there at the table, the four of us, having lasagne, I felt something good inside of me. Just a little, but it was there. Everybody was smiling happily, the radio was playing some song from the eighties, and our cat was sleeping next to my chair.

It felt like I was given a second chance, and although there was still a rough road ahead of me, for the first time in forever I felt hope.