Consequences // Yoonmin

Second

Dear Min Yoongi,

It's been 2 more months and I'm losing my mind.

I thought Taehyung was my friend. But today as I was getting bullied he joined in. 

Sometimes I wish I'd never met you. Then I wouldn't be feeling like my heart is being torn apart all day every day by everyone I ever cared about.

Please make it stop. Tell them you lied so this can end. I'm reaching my breaking point and I'm scared to find out what happens when I reach it.

I smiled today by accident, you were arguing with the teacher and everyone was smiling. You were being funny and I couldn't help but smile too. It just earned me another beating. 

I won't make that mistake again though don't worry.

You looked concerned when you looked at me today. I hope you're ok. You may have destroyed my life.

But I still care about you.

Jin hyung spoke to me today. He seemed to be nice still, but no one is nice to me anymore. At this point not calling me fat, ugly or stupid could be considered nice to me.

I miss the old days. When I could smile without fear. When I could say proudly my best friend had my back. When I wasn't so alone and hateful.

I didn't used to hate myself this way you know. That's new. I didn't care until people made me.

I was in cooking class today, I 'accidently' cut my hand. Actually one of the boys pushed me forward on purpose so I would hurt myself. I need stitches now. 

But I don't mind.

If it makes other people happy to hurt me then they can.

If it makes you happy then you can.

"Tough love?"

Signed Park Jimin