Self-Destruct

Chapter 1

"I am a walking self destruct button"

"I can't believe I let things get this bad" Dana cried.

"I just wanted to enjoy my life and have a little fun and look where it got me? Broke and broken. I really just wish I listened sooner. I ruined everything."

Dana continued to confide in her new roommate Erin at Kent General rehabilitation center. A lot of things changed for Dana really quickly. And currently she feels like Erin...this total stranger is all she has. She drove everyone else who truly cared about her away.

As Dana and Erin continued to talk there was a sudden knock on the door. They went to open it revealing one of the rehab nurses.

"Dana Reaves you have a visitor waiting for you."

"For me?" Dana questioned in shock.

She has been admitted in the rehabilitation facility for almost three months and, not once has anyone so much as called to check on her. She was convinced that no one cared about her. But after everything that she's done she didn't blame them.

She shakily walked out of her room and down the long hallway to the visitors room. As she reached the room she glanced through the window before opening the door. To her surprise in the midst of all the people that filled the room she spotted her mom sitting at a table alone. She quickly opened the door and ran over to where her mother sat. She tightly embraced her.

"Momma, I am so happy to see you! I missed you so much" she said as tears began to trickle down her face.

"I missed you too, sweetheart. I'm sorry I haven't been by to see you. I thought it would be best to give you time to get better." She said as she sat down holding a firm grip on Dana's hand.

"It's okay, I'm just glad you're here. Where's daddy? He didn't come with you?" She questioned as she looked towards the entrance.

Mrs. Reaves heart dropped. She anticipated Dana asking that question and knew Dana deserved to know the truth. However, she did not want to cause her daughter to relapse or make an irrational choice. So, she decided to maintain her secret. However, while her mouth said nothing her eyes said everything.

"Momma what's wrong" she asked taken a back by her mother's sudden shift in energy.

"Nothing baby" she said as she tried to force a genuine smile on her face.

"Mom, I know when you're hiding stuff from me. Remember you use to always tell me how nothing good comes from secrets. You always talked about how secrets kill faster than any gun ever could. So, what's wrong with daddy?"

"Baby" she took in a deep breath as she desperately tried find the right words to say.

"Your Daddy is in the hospital...he's in a coma" Her heart broke as she uttered those words. She never imagined this being her life. Visiting her daughter in a rehab while her husband is clinging to life in a hospital.

"What? How? When?What happened ma?" She questioned in disbelief.

"Honey, your father had a heart attack six weeks ago and-"

"SIX WEEKS!" She yelled causing everyone to look at her and her mom.

"My father has been in the hospital for six weeks and I'm just now finding out. Is that why no one has bothered to come visit?"

Dana was extremely hurt at the news she just received. She got up from the table and readied herself to go back to her room until her mom grabbed her arm.

"Dana look, I didn't want to jeopardize your sobriety and I'm sure your father wouldn't want that either. We prayed and cried for so long for you to get better. Believe me, we thought we were doing what was best." She said with pleading eyes.
Dana stared in her mothers eyes and saw an ocean of suppressed emotions for which she felt responsible.

"It's all my fault" she said as she hung her head.

"Dana what are you talking about?" Her mother replied.

"Mom, it's okay if you blame me for dad's heart attack...I blame me too. I put so much stress on him on top of the stress he already felt from the church and everything else. Gosh I'm stupid. Typical Dana screwing stuff up again."

"Dana, nobody blames you baby. If anything I blame myself. I should have been a better mother. I should have been there more. You needed me and where was I? I was at the church doing God's work while my family fell apart right in front of my face."

Dana never heard her mom talk like that. Hearing her words consumed her with great amounts of guilt.

"Baby can I ask you something?" Dana's mom asked just above a whisper.

"Sure momma, anything."

"Is there anything that I could have done to change what happened in the past year? How did we end up here?" She said as tears fell from her tired eyes and rested on her cheeks.

Dana's heart shattered like glass as her mother's words struck her like daggers. Dana knew that she made a lot of bad choices. However, this was the first time she realized just how much her family suffered as a result.
Dana grabbed both her mother's hands tightly.

"Momma you are the best mother any child could ever ask for. I took you and daddy for granted. I thought I knew better but I was wrong. I was stupid and foolish and now you all are paying the price. I hate that I did that to you. So don't blame yourself. This is all on me."

Authors note: here is the first chapter of my first story. I hope you guys like it. Please leave me some feedback too.