Self-Destruct

Chapter 2

"Sometimes it feels impossible trying to live up to the expectations set for me
Trying to satisfy both the church girl and preachers kid ideologies "

1 year earlier

"Dana baby it's time to get up" her mother said as she gently kissed her face.

 
"But momma I'm so tired please let me sleep." She begged.

"Now, Dana you know you have to get up. We have to get down to the church. So, by the time I come back in here you better be up and getting ready." She barked as she walked out of the door.

 
This was their routine every Sunday. Dana was forced to get up and go to church every morning. She hated it. She hated Sundays. She hated Sundays because of how much her parents loved them.

Dana hated how her whole life felt like a competition. She had to compete with so many things for just a minuscule moment of her parents time. She had to compete with her siblings, the church, their jobs, the church, other family members, the church, and any other things that might pop up. Oh and did I mention the church? 

 
The church was her parents lives. Dana always only felt like she was just simply an asset to the church.

Dana has always been a good girl. She's saved. She's a straight "A" student. She doesn't party, smoke or drink or anything like that. She's even the head praise and worship leader. She was exactly who her parents wanted her to be. Actually, she wasn't because no matter how much she did...they always wanted more. Just Dana was never enough.

Dana never really had many friends. Nobody wants to hang out with the weird church girl. She's 21 years old and lives like a sheltered puppy. All she knows is church and the Bible. Occasionally she would hear people talk about certain things in passing . She tried to look them up but she couldn't. Her parents have parental controls on her computer and phone. 
They told her "if it's not about Jesus you don't need to see or hear it." Some days Dana wishes she could just be normal.

So, when Dana and her family arrived at the Greater Faith Baptist Church they did their normal routine. They first prayed right outside of the church entrance, and then in the sanctuary, and then they each went and prayed in one of the other rooms in the church. Once they were finished they had bible study and reflection for the last 30 minutes before service started. They did this along with the assistant pastor and his family.

Dana walked to front of the sanctuary as she was preparing herself to lead praise and worship.

"Hey D"  Dana heard the deep familiar voice as she felt a firm grip around her waist. She turned around and saw Desmond with his perfect smile and long locs up in a ponytail.

"Hey Desmond, how are you?" She responded as she tightly embraced him.

 
Desmond is the new piano player. He was hired a few months ago after the original one, Reverend Sam complained about how he's "to old to keep up with these young folk and this new aged music." 

Dana and Desmond flirted a lot but they both new they couldn't be more than friends. If  Dana's parents were to see Desmond so much as look at her inappropriately they might fire him. Her parents always saw Dana as a perfect angel. They viewed all of their children that way. They refused to let someone destroy their "picture perfect", "heaven sent" children. Who were all now over the age of 18 yet still living at home. They couldn't go away for college because they were told that there was too much kingdom work to be done here. Their dad even propositioned them that he would take care of them and they wouldn't have to work as long as they worked in the church. 

Malcom Jr., the oldest was his fathers armor bearer and was told that he would one day take over the church. Melody who is the middle child  was in charge of the children's church and co-director of the youth department. Finally, there is Dana who is the head praise and worship leader and the co-director of music ministry. Which meant she and Desmond got to be pretty close and she didn't mind. 

 
Being around Desmond made Dana feel some sense of normalcy. He didn't treat her differently because she was the pastors daughter and she loved that. Being the preachers kid  came with so many expectations. She always had to be mindful of what she said, how she acted, how she dressed. Even the smallest slip-up could reflect badly on her entire family. Once she reposted something on social media that had a curse word in it and someone told her parents. She was sat down from the praise and worship team for two weeks. She also had to give a public apology to the church. 

 
Desmond was a breath of fresh air in that church. Everyone was so holier-than-thou that there was no room for error or going against the grain. Everyone was so skeptical about Desmond because he was different from everyone else. Desmond had tattoos, and wore ripped jeans and his ears were pierced. He was everything our church was not. The only reason they hired him was because they were desperate to replace Reverend Sam. Desmond knew what everyone thought about him and he did not care. You see, Desmond is also a preachers kid and he quickly learned that he couldn't go to his fathers church. It was too much pressure, too much judgment. So he left and never looked back. That's how he found out about Greater Faith. He and Dana talked a lot when no one was around. He understands her...I mean not too long ago he was her. That's probably why they had such a great connection. When they were together Dana finally felt like should could be herself. She felt free.