An Unusual Summer (BxB)

Chapter 10

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"It was like a habit." I say biting my lip. "I wanted to get rid of it, it hurt a lot but at the same time it would help me calm down."

We were sitting in my room and I swear I just saw Ryan shiver a bit which makes me sad. I was telling him things I never told anyone before. "But why would you do that?" He asks.

I sigh. "I never told this to anyone, Ryan."

He puts his hand on my shoulder. "But you can tell me. You will feel better if you open up. I promise."

I stare at him. "Since you are promising..." I know I would feel better if I let everything out but I didn't want to somehow. Those are not very sweet memories.
He nods and I start anyway.
"Three years ago when I was 14, my father bought this place with his childhood friend. They agreed to take care of this place together but since both of them worked in town, they decided to come at least once a year to check everything and after finishing their works regarding this place, they would go back to town the same year. The next year...when I was fifteen my dad decided to take me here with him as it was my spring break and I was also being stubborn to see the place. When his friend heard that I was also going, he also brought his son. When we reached, I was so happy to see the place as it was so beautiful. I was also happy meeting Ryan..." I stop and look at Ryan who was staring widening his eyes as his jaw slowly drops. "I mean the Ryan...who...who is my nightmare."

"You mean to say that day you were dreaming about him?" He asks.

I stare at him in shock. "You heard me?...W-What did I say?"

"You were saying to leave you and that you didn't love him." He says in a sad voice tilting his head .

I cough and look down. "Well yeah it was about him and...it wasn't a dream. It was a nightmare." I look at him and start again, "So, I thought I was visiting a new place and there was someone of my age...well he was gonna turn eighteen but anyway I thought I was going to enjoy the break. The first few days were fine. He was nice and I liked his company. He started it when one day our dads left for some work..."

I pause and gulp as my heartbeat begins to speed. "He started watching a bad movie. Well, it was bad for me as I was fifteen then. H-He told me to come and watch with him. I did so and then he sat closer and started saying how much he liked me and other things."

Ryan rubs my back and I smile nervously clearing my throat. "I liked his style and everything. I was a bit happy thinking that he thought I looked good. And then some days later we were alone again. Then he took me to his room...where you stay now, a-and he k-kissed me. I still remember that I liked it and that was the first time I realized I was gay." This is getting hard for me as it is like I can see everything, the past in front of me. After all, all those happened in the same house.

He locked the front door as soon as both of them left and smiled looking at me. "Let's go to my room." He said holding my hand leaving me startled.
I sat in his bed and he stood in front of me, still holding my hand. He slowly kissed up my hand locking eyes with mine and I sat there motionless. And for the first time in my life I felt butterflies in my stomach.

These memories are getting out of my control.
I frown and continue, "He told me not to say anything to dad. Sometimes our dad came late at night after work and spending their time at a bar nearby, like at 2, I was so much obsessed with him that I secretly wanted my dad to come late...s-s-so that I could spend some more time with him in his bed. Nothing seemed wrong until he hit me."

I stop and Ryan wraps his arm around me and pulls me closer.
"One day I was feeling sick and he wanted me to come with him to his room. I said no and he started forcing me and then he got mad as I was annoyed. He hit me. There was blood in my nose and mouth and for the first time after seventeen days of being obsessed with him, I saw his real face. He hit me again and started calling me names. I thought I was in love with him and he was also. But then I knew he wasn't and...and he was just using me. I just sat their quiet and he went out somewhere. Later when dad asked me about the bruise, I said I fell on the ground while taking a walk. The days were getting harder and most of the time I had to stay alone, only with him. I couldn't say anything to my dad and he said if I did, he would kill me. Well, by then I realized that was not something very impossible for him." I stop and inhale deeply.

"Hey, Aiden. Come on." Ryan said standing on the staircase. I looked at him and shook my head. "I think I have a fever. Can we just sit here?" He frowned and walked towards the couch. "I'm telling you to come upstairs." He said grabbing my hand. "Come with me!" He ordered me. I could see his face turn purple as he grew furious.
"It's not like you own me or anything...I'd love to sit here with you but I don't want to go to your room...why are you so horny always, anyway?" I said standing up but before I could finish my sentence he lifted me up grabbing my shirt and hit me. After a while I found myself on the ground on my back with a sharp pain in the back of my head.

I blink and smile at Ryan who holds me tight and brings my back into his chest running fingers through my hair.
"He stopped talking to me and honestly, I was relieved. One day my dad was late, so I called him. He wouldn't pick up. Ryan was also out. So, I went downstairs, sat on the couch...you know the same couch downstairs...to watch TV. Right at that moment Ryan walked in and sat next to me. I just stood up ignoring him and walked over to the shelf to take a book to read and suddenly I felt his hands on my shoulder. He turned me around and pressed me against the shelf. Well....that was the first time w-when he forcefully...did that with me."

I remember how I pleaded when he pressed me against the shelf.
"Come on...leave me!" Some of the books fell on the floor and I screamed, "Dad! Where are you?" He grinned and pinned my hands on either side of my head and crashed his rough lips on to mine. I wanted to run away but only if I could move.

I sigh and find myself chewing on my nails. Though I force myself to keep my hand down, it doesn't work. I look at Ryan. He is staring at me but his eyes are unfocused. "Ryan..." I softly call him. He blinks and somehow smiles nervously as he leans down. After a couple of pecks on my lips, he wraps his arm around me again. "Do you want something to drink? Coffee or..."

I shake my head. "I'm not done yet." Since I have decided to finally tell someone, I'm not getting up before finishing. "He kept doing this to me. He would forcefully kiss me here and there and sometimes hit me. I just counted days. Only one week and a half left. After that we would go back and then I wouldn't have to see his face ever again. But he wasn't done yet. He, of course, took advantage of my innocence from the beginning. I was just too fool to understand that. And then three days before leaving, we were alone again. I went to the bathroom for a shower but forgot to lock the door of my room. I was almost finished and then the bathroom door opened and I saw him standing there grinning. I was wearing nothing. He came near me. He whispered, smirked and I almost cried. I said that I hated him but he said, he didn't. I tried to run away but I was trapped. And then again, he..." I let out a deep sigh. "Well, I was so fragile standing there, he forced me again, in the shower."

Flashbacks are in italics.