i've been really happy lately. it's honestly been so nice. i only have two friends (mary and zach) but that's enough for me. i smile more, i haven't cut in weeks, and i've just felt better. i have tried some new things. like listening to different music besides my punk rock emo music, and now i'm listening more to showtunes and musicals. i've lately been totally obsessed with dear evan hansen, be more chill, hamilton, and heathers. i have also been watching new tv shows and inspiring movies. my life is going pretty good.
i still get bullied a lot, but it's not effecting me as much as it used to. i'm able to help my friends out since my love hasn't been as much of a mess lately. like mary has a crush on this new girl, and so i'm helping her with that. helping her isn't the easiest thing though, because she refuses to talk to the girl. poor mary is really insecure and thinks that her crush will hate her. so she's just keeping her distance. i've been hyping her up though although i'm not sure if i'm really helping.
zach and i are doing amazing. i love him so much. and did you know how good it feels to be loved by someone? i never really knew how that felt until now. needless to say, it feels great.
i used to look in the mirror and think terrible things about myself. however now i just try and find one thing i like about myself every day. zach gave me that idea and its really helping me. i feel great about myself.
even my grades have changed! i used to have b's and c's but now i have a's and b's. my parents are proud of me too. i even think ill be able to make some new friends if i try to talk to new people.
now i'm gonna go to sleep with a smile on my face instead of tears.
-alex :)
