December Boys (BxB) | ✓

Chapter 33 - Like it's Over

Lily was alone, but with drinks in both hands. Her face was shining, bathed in the neon of the fairy lights, and her curls were decorated with gems and makeup. Lily's lips were a crimson kiss on her face, stark red against the white of her skin. I was staring at her. I couldn't not stare. Everything about Lily begged you to look at her. She was prettier than I remembered.

"Lily," I repeated, just to have something to say. The silence between us was a profound, painful thing. Reading her expression was impossible, and my thoughts were interrupted by the monotonous drone of the music.

"Olivia's on her way," Lily said, never changing her expression. She held the drinks up for me to see.

"She wants me dead."

"No shit," she said, a shadow of a smile flashing across her face. "Follow me." There was no time to protest, ask questions, or otherwise voice my concerns because Lily turned around and thrust her drinks into an unfamiliar boy's hands. She ignored his astonished face before disappearing through the exit. All I could do was follow.

The music was cranked up as I left, and weaving through the crowd was like navigating a maze. All around me people were laughing and drinking, some commented on my costume, others were directing starry-eyed gazes at Lily. All I saw was her back swiftly disappearing in the crowd, so I kept pushing through and muttering the occasional "excuse me," and "sorry"s as I did. At last I was past the worst cluster of students, finding Lily again near the stairway. She didn't head up that way.

Lily sidestepped the stairs and ducked through a door on the opposing wall instead. I hadn't spent much time in the school's basement, but that's where we were headed. All I knew was that it housed an outdated "computer room" and various storage sheds. Following Lily was my number one priority at that moment. We passed door after door, heading deep into the least traversed halls of December High. My pulse mounted with each corner we passed.

"Okay," Lily said, finally halting at the end of the next hallway. There were no lanterns or decorations here. No festivities were intended for this particular wing of the school. Lily was looking at me, facing me head-on, face scrunched up in a frown. She folded her arms over her chest.

I could only stare at her. My mouth had fallen open at some point, so the first thing I did was focus on shutting it. Fuck. Now that we were here, I found myself lost for words. I'd written her countless letters, had numerous monologues addressing my behavior, but nothing came to me now that it mattered.

"Nao," Lily said. I looked up to find emotion shifting in her eyes. Her upper lip was quivering, just slightly. It would have been unnoticeable if I didn't know her so well.

"I'm sorry." My hands felt like lead along my sides, much like they had back in September, on that fateful, foolish night. "Lily, I'm so sorry."

Looking at her was torture. All the stupid things I'd done came crashing over me. All the times I'd rejected her, even the tiny, seemingly unimportant events. Memories of her late night calls, of her warm body against mine, her anxious voice, her sad eyes — smashed into my chest, eliciting a pained gasp.

"I screwed up," I said, voice trembling. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I... I was confused."

"Do you like someone else?"

An involuntary laugh escaped me. "Someone else?" The thought was a ridiculous one. "Never. No. I know this might sound stupid, but I have to say it anyway. It had nothing to do with you." I let out a breath. "It's all me."

Lily scoffed. She was leaning against the wall, hugging herself. I couldn't recognize her costume, but she was in a wonderful little dress, all silver, and glitter. Even the dull light from the ceiling lamp made her sparkle. Her hair was a waterfall of meticulous, blond curls.