Nao Summers hates drama, but life becomes full of it when he's paired with the school delinquent on a film project. He's also in dire need of a way to break up with his girlfriend who wants to have lots of sex, while Nao would prefer to die. To crow...
I was standing by a bus stop downtown, bent over and nearly dry heaving with effort. The lack of exercise and numerous occasions I'd skipped P.E. were catching up to me. My heart was doing a good job of hammering in my chest, though, so I guess it still knew how to process the oxygen I provided it with.
But oxygen seemed difficult to come by now. My wild run through the streets had ended near the outskirts of the city, by a lonely bus stop Erik and I used to hang out by when we were kids. It was the kind of place that allowed you invisibility, which is why it was perfect on this night.
It wasn't that I wanted to stop, it was that I had no choice. My chest was one big ache, and my cheeks were like icicles. All I could do was give my body a long-awaited break, bending over and sucking cold November air into my lungs.
"That happened," I repeated, out loud, to myself and to the night at large. No one was listening of course, but I needed to make sure this was real. My words faded into the silent street, and things were unfortunately real. Too real.
I fell onto the bench nearby, collapsing into a pile of exhaustion, wired brain bouncing back and forth between memories and sensations. The image of Axel's face as it came closer to my own. The way his skin had felt warm under my fingers. The kisses he'd left on my neck—
"Mother of God..." There was an empty hole in my stomach, and it was quickly growing bigger and bigger the more I let my mind wander. With a decided slap of palms against my cheeks, I pulled myself back to the present, back to the bus stop in the middle of the night.
If there was one thing I couldn't allow myself, it was to think about that. Not right now, not yet.
The most urgent matter at hand was finding a place to sleep.
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Lily's house was as prim and proper as ever. The maple tree in the backyard had turned a warm orange, and its leaves were scattered across the lawn, no doubt waiting for Lily's dad to rake them away in the morning. The intimidating shadow of his Porsche was parked neatly in the driveway, making sure I remembered my place as I positioned myself on the doormat by the front door. The hole in my stomach was leaking confidence at an alarming rate now.
I'm here, I texted, and waited, trying not to think about what I was doing.
A few minutes snailed by at a torturous pace, but at long last, the lock clicked, and the door opened before me. No warm light met me — the chandelier was asleep, and I hoped the head of the house was as well.
Stepping into the elegant hallway of the Shepherd residence, I let Lily close the door behind me. It made the softest of sounds before she moved, giving us ample space to consider each other.
"Hi," I said, making no move to remove my shoes or clothing.
"Hi."
She was different, somehow. Her hair was in a long French braid, and she wore an oversized t-shirt with some shorts. On her feet were a pair of fluffy slippers. There was an effortless air to her appearance, almost like she hadn't done anything with it at all.
I realized she probably hadn't.
"You gonna just stand there, or what?" she said, raising an eyebrow. Her expression was neither cold nor warm. She was just Lily, and she was here, and she was doing me a favor.
"Sorry." I kicked my shoes off and made a move to follow her, but Lily shook her head.
"You'd better bring them with you. My dad'll tilt if he sees some guy's shoes when he leaves for work." She glanced at the vintage styled grandpa clock by the wall. "Which is in... 2 hours. Get a move on."
Collecting the shoes, I followed Lily into the house and through the living room. I avoided looking at the couch, avoided nudging that particular memory back into my subconscious. I wondered if playing that scene on repeat was better than what had just gone down with Axel, but all I did was shake my head. If I could get rid of them both, that would be swell.
Did Lily think about it when she sat down there to eat?
She continued leading me through the dark, deserted house, and eventually up the stairs. We were still silent when Lily closed her bedroom door behind us. The only audible sounds came from her laptop, which was open on her bed.
"Make yourself at home," she said, and sat down on the bed. Her eyes never left me, and kept a constant watch on every movement I made. When I left the shoes by the door, she was looking at me. When I shed my coat and hung it up by her mirror, she inspected it. Even as I walked over the fluffy pink carpet and seated myself on the edge of her bed, her gaze never strayed.
"I'm sorry," I said, looking away because she refused to. "I probably shouldn't have called you."
"Probably."
"I know this is low. I mean, we've had this conversation already, but I'm—"
"Not interested in your sob story, Nao."
When I turned to look at her again, Lily had scooted away and was now leaning her back against the headboard. Her laptop illuminated part of her face, which almost looked amused in the sparse lighting. I frowned. That couldn't be right. This was a serious moment, right?
"I'm more curious about what could possibly make you call me at 3 am in the morning," Lily continued, and that was a smile tugging at her lips. "I mean, radio silence for over a month? Our conversation on Halloween? I thought I'd heard the last from Nao Summers."
My mouth tried to form words, but they had scrambled away, probably through the window that was open nearby. Lily's lace curtains were slow dancing in the breeze, silent and bemused, almost like Lily herself.
"You know what Olivia would do if..."
"I know," I said, trying to keep my voice even. "I promised I'd stay away, and I haven't. I'll take the consequences if you decide to tell her."
Lily rolled her eyes, and suddenly that smile I knew so well popped back up on her face. Something shifted then, and the empty hole in my stomach seemed to take a break from its expansion. A puzzle piece aligned with the bigger picture.
"She's not my girlfriend, Nao. I'm my own boss." She tossed one of her pillows in my direction, grinning as it collided with my unsuspecting face. "I won't tell her, but on one condition."
A groan escaped me. "No more conditions..."
"You're the one crashing at my place," Lily chirped, all the while rearranging her comforter and shutting the laptop with a decided click. "Pretty sure I've got the upper hand here."
"Fine, name your price."
"Price?" Her eyes went innocent for a second, mirroring the image she presented to her Instagram followers and the world. "I just want a good story, Nao. You tell me what happened tonight, and I let you sleep on my floor. Deal?"
My gut and its empty hole began to protest, but I knew I had no choice. The thought of walking the streets and returning back home tonight was unbearable. The thought of meeting Axel's eyes again, confronting my worried mom, and having to explain things to a prodding Seth... Yeah, I was trapped in a hell of my own making.
"Alright, but promise you won't—"
"Laugh?" Lily was beaming, cheeks practically glowing with anticipatory glee. "No deal."
A mellow sigh was all I could muster in response. I supposed I deserved to be laughed at, and I had shown up on my ex's doorstep at 3 am on a Thursday. I figured I owed her this much.
"This is a long story," I warned her before drawing my knees up and settling in the foot of her bed. My feet were cold and clammy and still remembered how the roof had felt against their soles. I was already remembering things, too fast and with too much intensity, so I closed my eyes against Lily's room and her grins.
"I guess it started when I fell in love with Axel Montgomery."
