Clemency (Reiner x reader x Bertholdt)

Chapter six: Opportunities

I open my eyes.

We are still laying in the roof. The moon is dazzling in its own light, and the stars...they are dancing and flickering. Bertholdt is hugging me tightly, he stills asleep and the wind makes his dark brown hair wave slightly. I touch his face with my hand, I close my eyes trying to fall asleep again but a thought slaps my mind violently.

Escape....

"What?" I say confused.

Escape...This is your chance to escape.

I open my eyes precipitously.

DON'T THINK ABOUT IT, JUST RUN AWAY! My mind implores me.

My face is troubled, but deep inside I know this is a opportunity that can't be let down. I move his arm away carefully and trying to not disturb his slumber, Im free to go... I stand up and look at him remorseful.

"Sorry" I whisper to the air, leaving silently. Im sitting in the border of the roof letting my feet hang. I look down, it's a four meter fall.

-How I will fall without making any noise?- I think

-JUST JUMP- My mind tells me.

I do it falling on my knees making a bit of noise, I squeeze my eyes hoping he didn't hear it.I stand up and start running in the long grass field, this is it... I'm definitely going home now! I don't even think about titans or other factors that can risk my life.

I just think about home, almost feeling the warm hug my friends will gave me when I show up alive and in one piece. Right now they surely think I'm dead but I am not, my eyes gaze deeply into the starry skies.

"I'm finally going home" I say with a joyful shaky voice.

I can see at the distance some...fire light? A village? I exhale with total relief, almost feeling the coziness of my bed.

That feeling is wiped away like moisture from a bottle of wine.

 I sprint and start to breath heavily as my ears caught a panting sound in the background. Tears float in the air, I hear someone approaching. I turn my head slightly to see the terrible fate the future had for me. Bertholdt is running right behind me, trying to reach me with his long slender arms.

-This can't be true! Please...No... I'm almost there.- I think still running desperately towards the lights.

"Help!" I scream, even if the place stills far away.

I trip, quickly standing up and looking behind. He is barely where I am, this makes me sprint again with all i've got inside.

It just wasn't enough, the feeling of him tackling me into the ground reminds me of my training.

"Let me go!" I scream and cry, Im forcing his movements to free myself. He is on top of me, I try to hit him with my right hand but he grabs it and slams it into the land. I try with my other hand, he slams it to the dampt terrain as well.

"Somebody please, help me!" I scream as loud as I can.

He puts his knee over my left hand and now that his right hand is free, he covers my mouth with it. "Stop this please" he says agitated with a very heavy and shaky voice. He is upset, sweaty, and his eyes are widely open as he presses his hand more into my mouth.

"Why?" He says with a tearful voice. "Why you tried to escape?!" He screams.

I move my head so I can response.

"I don't want to spend all my life here, I just can't let it end like this!" I scream weeping.

He is startled and trying to gather the words he wants his mouth tho release.

"I want to go home! With my friends! Wi-"

"Don't you understand all I want is to protect you?!" He interrupts yelling vigorously.

I stop fighting and squealing just by hearing his statement. His breathing is deep and highly agitated, his eyes move from one place to other for some seconds. Achieving more things he wanted to say, he finally avows more of that quietly buried feeling he was keeping inside.

"I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET INVOLVED IN THIS MESS!" He screams getting closer to my face

I sob turning my head to dodge his tormented expression.

"I'M SORRY, I-I Don't want you to..." His voice starts shiver and subside slowly.

I look at him, deeply bereaved  half-lidded glancing to the meadow that surrounded my form. His eyes met with mine, his gaze is innocent but yet all decided.

He softly plants his lips to mine, we are staring while we are kissing. Looking his shy expression remove all the concern and rage disappears at a slow pace. He breaks the kiss, our eyes are both full of tears. 

I don't know what to feel... How to avoid this state of mind.

"I-I'm sorr-" he says.

I hug him. 

"I can't!" I scream interrupting his apology attempt.

He is confused but I continue discharging all the thoughts of him that stormed inside me for a long time.

"I CAN'T HATE YOU, even if I try to... I CAN'T!" I shout.

At this point tears are rolling down so often that now they follow a defined path down my face all their way to the land.

"A part of me wants to stay here and a-another wants to... to go home!"

"I JUST... I just want to go home" I cry.

His cold breath freezes my tears leaving them marked in my face.

"You gotta let me....protect you" He says shyly.

I open my eyes fully, big tears fall and my lips tremble... we are still hugging.

He raises his head and looks at me, now that we are looking closely to our eyes. I can see that we have deep emotions for each other and kept them locked for so long that we almost vanished them. He kisses again, putting his hands in my face cupping my cheeks and digging the action deeper with a mournful sigh.

He pulls away and the sound of our lips separating thunders inside my being, he glares at me with grief while he stands up helping me to stand up too. He takes distance by taking a few steps back. It's useless to keep this feelings caged, I take a step closer and then other until I'm facing closer to his face again.

I put a hand on his shoulder with my head facing down, he wraps his arms around me giving me a warm hug, placing his chin above my head and fondling my back with his thumb. My head rests in his tightened chest.

He sighs relieved and so do I.

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We are sitting in the green grass looking to the beautiful and peaceful night sky, his right arm is folding my back and the other resting in my thigh. Both of my hands are resting in his chest... hearing his heartbeat again, now that all has been unleashed the environment feels completely calmed.

Completely safe.