Cooking Up A Storm - A Norman Reedus Fanfic Romance

Chapter 15 - Mille Fool

BENNY

I roll over in bed and squint at the clock again.

Still way too early to get up. The appointment with Sarah at her agency isn't until ten and it's only six AM now.

Too early for breakfast even, but not too early for a shower.

Turning on the bathroom light, I groan once I glimpse my reflection in the mirror.

My eyes are red-rimmed and puffy from crying, face is pale as death. Just as it was last night before I headed out for the restaurant.

Well....makeup came to the rescue yesterday and it'll save the day again I suppose. I wonder if there's some magical cosmeceutical that'll rescue my insides as well?

I reckon they should put me on that telly program Norman is on. Cos I acted up a storm last night.

I'm pretty sure I made a good show of it for the guys? Almost managed to convince myself that I'm happy, excited and sassy Albany Tennyson.

"Benny? The next time that little voice asks, 'What the fuck are you doing?'...."

"How about you be a good girl....and fucking listen to it! "  I scold my reflection, before flicking on the shower.

***

"Well, as your darling brother Cubby would say? You're up shit creek without a paddle! "

I'd just finished telling her all. The interview, meeting him again and finally getting to apologise. The job offer and my huge quandary over accepting it or not.

Because of Norman.

"Well thanks a lot, Gran. You're always berating me about being so stubborn and self-sufficient all the time. Yet when I do talk to you....ask for a little helpful advice maybe? You either call me a fool or tell me I'm up 'shit creek'. That really means a lot to me."

Not for the first time in my life, her brusque and dismissive response laid me low. Except today, when I was already all over the place....it felt like a true kick in the guts.

Only Gran wasn't done with me yet. Oh no....not by a long shot!

"Albany? You were a foolish, stupid, naïve eighteen-year-old when you got played and laid. So don't come running to me again for sympathy. Not when you're  the one who stubbornly decided to keep your legs crossed for ten years."

"Did the thought ever cross your silly little mind? That maybe this man wouldn't even be getting under your skin if you'd...."

"So you're saying all this is my fault?"  I cut her off in incredulous shock.

"That if I'd 'put it out there'  a bit more over the years, then I wouldn't have this dilemma now? Thanks a lot....again!"

"Don't you come over all uppity with me, young lady. I don't have the time or inclination to listen to any more of this codswallop. You could've easily gotten over yourself with just a little effort on your part."

Shit Benny!

Why do you keep doing it to yourself? Hoping that this will finally be the one time it'll go down differently?

I was really struggling not to cry now. Because all the stresses of the last few months finally crashed down on me. Along with the crippling pain and humiliation that I've been hiding, bottling up inside me for years now.

"Ethan? I thought it was love for the both of us and I put my trust in that. So yeah, I'm the naïve fool that you, Mum and Vala kept telling me I was. Way to go me! "