Cooking Up A Storm - A Norman Reedus Fanfic Romance

Chapter 34 - Frankly Madeira, I Don't Give A Damn!

BENNY

When I no longer hear the receding roar of Norman's motorcycle? I switch off the lounge light and stumble to my bedroom in the dark.

Climbing onto the mattress, I curl up into a little ball. Shove my face into the pillow....so I won't scare the cats with my howling sobs.

Happy fucking birthday, Benny!

Soon as I walked in and saw what he'd done for me? All the decorations and the flowers....I melted. Almost threw in the towel straight away. Then I took a second to rethink....

I won't garotte his gonads, but I will chap his buns for a minute. Make him sweat a tiny bit over his lousy decision to team up with Genghis.

Yeah, I was a fair bit pissed. Once I found out from Vala and Uncle Bill how it all came about. But I gave myself an almighty whack around the head. For being such an ungrateful cow to my friends, work friends, family....and Norman.

Who only wanted to surprise me and make me happy.

They succeeded.

Almost floated away in euphoria, because Norman was here. Not just here in Georgia but here at home too. Giving me my very own special birthday party....looking like an excited kid.

Made me feel like one too. All I wanted to do was light the sparklers and then twirl until I was dizzy in the streamers.

SUCK THOSE BALLOONS DOWN AND GIVE HIM HELIUM-FILLED KISSES!!!!

But I couldn't in all conscience string out his guilt over what he did. And just as I was about to cave, let him off the hook? The first whammy came.

Finding out that he's discussed so many more things with Gran? Personal things about me and him....things I wouldn't have even told Vala.

Making plans with her to give me a 'move along'?

That hurt.

The second whammy feels like a betrayal. Not just by him but by Gran most of all. After that afternoon at the motel? I thought she finally had some understanding of who Benny Tennyson really is.

Obviously, I was wrong.

If she truly understood me, she'd never....ever....casually discuss my fears and pain with anyone. Not even Norman.

But then, he went and did it right back too didn't he?  😯

That hurt even more.

The third whammy? Well, that's the one that brought me to my knees....

What did I do? To make him think for a single second I wouldn't listen to how he feels and what he wants? How could he even contemplate that I don't want us as much as he does?

Hell, I can find another precious fucking job....but find another Norman?  He's my one in a billion.

I just thought that with him being on the road so much for the next few months? That we really can't do much 'moving along'  until he actually returns.

He said he'd wait until I'm ready. And I'm sure....beyond positive I would've been by the time he gets home and is here to stay in Georgia for a while.

That we can do it together.

I should've told him that, as soon as I knew it myself. I SHOULD HAVE! 

At least then he would've known and not feel so....unsure....insecure? Maybe then, he wouldn't have said what he did.