The Club

CHAPTER 10

21st Birthday Part 1

April 20, 2010

Sometimes, I look up into the sky and watch the planes fly by. Where are they going? What kind of people are on them? Can I go with them? Unfortunately, the downfall of living so close to the airport means this happens often. My life isn't bad, but it's not the greatest either. You won't see my name in lights or written down in history books for the world to remember. I am who I am and nobody will mourn me when I'm gone. I haven't decided if I'm okay with that or not, but it is what it is. My life was already sealed before I even started living it and I can either go with the flow or fight it. I'd prefer to not make myself work too hard. No matter how hard I fight it, my life will end up the way it was supposed to. The way it was planned if you believe in that shit. Fate has a way of making everything right in the end.

I take a deep breath as the smoke travels down my throat and slowly trickles into my lungs. I force my mouth closed holding the nicotine in as long as possible. Getting lost in the surge of lightheadedness before letting it right back out. I prop my achy feet up onto the railing of my balcony and get lost in the never-ending darkness of the golf course down below. Not a single polo wearing, preppy douche is in sight and I allow myself to relax. Kicking off my Converse, my toes scream at finally being released after another long day running around waiting on those people hand and foot. The people that I despise, that ruined my life and don't even care.

I lay back onto the slab of concrete and the early autumn air blows through my long locks giving me a whiff of my coconut shampoo and stale beer. The patrons at Garden Lake Country Club might have the most money in the county, but they definitely don't have an ounce of class to back it up. The first time a rich bitch dumped her drink on me for looking at her pansy ass boyfriend the wrong way, I went into the kitchen and cried. The second time it happened I got angry and almost walked off my job, but quickly changed my tune knowing that I wouldn't find another job in town. It's happened more times than I can count now and I don't even think about it anymore. They want to get a rise out of me but I refuse to stoop to their games.

I put my cigarette out and relax back onto my personal slab of perfection. The air is thick with an impending rain and I breathe in the cleansing it will bring. When I let the breath out I'm saddened to know I'm still the same Erika and nothing has changed. Not that I really thought taking a gulp of air would remove the dirty part of my past. I walk around like there's a giant Ron my chest but everyone else sees an A. The part that sickens me worse than anything else is not that Parker raped me, but that he had a wife and child at home. Bianca was a horrible person to me in high school and yet I feel sorry for her. How fucked up is that?

It makes me hate him more. I feel sorry for her because of the monster she married. And to make matters worse, he had the nerve to come up to me at work today. The coward that I am, I pretended like nothing was wrong but I couldn't stop picturing that night over and over as he continued talking to me about God knows what. I shudder at the thought.

After it happened, Kyle was so mad at me for not doing anything about it, but really what could I do? He's the town's golden boy and me? I'm a nobody from the wrong side of the tracks. It's such a fucking cliché, but that's life for you, I guess.

I'm contemplating on the cruel, cruel world when she comes traipsing out onto the tiny balcony with me.

"Get your ass in here and stop wallowing. You're going to blow out the candles on the birthday cake I spent all day slaving over and then we're going out."

She walks back into the apartment and I yell at her back. "I'll blow out the candles but I'm not going anywhere. I'm not in the mood for that."

"We'll see." She winks at me and I notice the setup she has going on. Next to the "cake", she has a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses. I can get on board with the tequila, that's for sure. I pour myself a shot and take it, letting the harsh liquid burn my insides as it travels down to my belly. I pour another and plop down on the couch next to her.

I've made the same wish on my birthday every year since I was fifteen. To be happy and make something of my life, but six years later, I'm a lot bit drunk and I'm throwing caution to the wind. I'm going after what I want and not caring if I can actually make it happen. After all, blowing out a candle and making a wish doesn't really mean anything anyway, right?

My best friend and roommate sits next to me on our old beat up couch with an over-the-top cupcake in my line of sight. If you could even call it a cupcake. The monstrosity is hot pink with edible rhinestones and a blinged out microphone on top. I guess that's what happens when she's the best baker in town and has a lot of free time on her hands. Her association with me hurts her business but no matter what, she refuses to cut ties with me. It's selfish of me, but I love her for it.

She finishes singing happy birthday to me if that's what you want to call it, in an annoyingly screeching tone and jumps up and down for me to make a wish. It's a good thing she doesn't have any musical aspirations because I would hate to break her heart and tell her the truth about her lack of talent. She is much better suited in the baking world.

Her impatience gets to me and I take the shot in my hand before staring down in the dancing flames. A coldness washes over me and I sit up a little straighter. The air around me shifts slightly with an electric charge in the air. This wish is special. It's the wish to change my life. I could sit here and contemplate what I want to wish for, but that would be pointless. There's only one thing I could wish for. One thing that I truly want and nothing is going to stand in my way in making it come true.

I blow out the candles and concentrate on my future. On the life, I should have already been living rather than wasting away in this God forsaken town. I let myself see it. Feel it. Let my whole being know it to be true.

I close my eyes and get lost in the shadows of my mind. The smoke surrounds me and fills me up. I clench and fight it as my lungs burn. I gasp and reach out, what for I don't know but something, anything that can help me. My legs give out and the floor rises up to meet me. My lungs start to shut down and I relax my body finally accepting my fate. I'm slowly fading away when the smoke quickly clears from the room. I violently gasp, my thirst for oxygen not even close to becoming quenched.

My entire body trembles with the adrenaline leaving me. I lie there on the cool concrete ground and focus on each breath entering and leaving my lungs. Finally, after my body calms down and I feel halfway normal again, I push myself up from the floor and study my surroundings. Before me, there are three identical doors. The only difference is the number printed on each. "27", "45", and "76".

I step forward and closely inspect each door. I expect for something to pop out at me but I'm quickly disappointed when nothing happens. I place my hand on the hard wooden frame of the door labeled "27" and a current of electricity travels into my hand and up my arm. My entire body fills with adrenaline and I feel like I could do anything right now. Without hesitation, I reach down and turn the knob. Stepping inside, I know I made the right decision. Who knew all of your dreams could come true with a wish and a simple turn of a knob?