ALMOST A BRIDE (Open On Annie)

Chris POV 2

When I was a child of the eighties, we got giddy with excitement  about such technological breakthroughs as cordless landlines, actual home computers that didn’t take up whole rooms and mind-blowing cutting-edge games like Tetris. So when I wasn’t listening to A-HA (truly embarrassing) and when I wasn’t watching the A-Team (I love it when a plan comes together) you could find me engrossed, for hours, by the almost hypnotic falling shapes. There was nothing like it at the time; free falling shapes, the ability to maneuver them around using arrow keys. Amazing.

Remember, we were still living in a time when computer mice had tails, MS DOS was the talk of the town and you could leave and get yourself a cup of coffee and bake a cake while the computer turned itself on.

Still… there was nothing more satisfying than watching those little shapes fall into place. Seeing the lines being created and then disappearing in a flash. Nothing more satisfying when things fall into place---

Standing there with Annie, who was now wide- eyed and had turned a strange shade of ashen gray (yes, even with that sunburn) things suddenly fell into place. Although she looked like she might have gone momentarily mad, staring at a picture on the wall with eyes the size of footballs, I had a moment of perfect, sane clarity. Everything suddenly became crystal clear. There was a solution to my problem, and it was standing behind me. Well, they were standing behind me.

You just can’t make this stuff up! Reality really is stranger than any fiction you can think up. And when we got final confirmation that it was in fact the Terrible Twins standing behind us, I saw the name of my movie up in lights, I saw people shoving pop corn into their mouths and slurping down oversized Cokes as they chortled with laughter. 

This was the perfect plot. It had it all.  Heartbroken, scorned ex goes on holiday to find her ex and his mistress, the one he played kink with, staying at the same resort. The premise was there, it just needed one more story element to make it complete. An inciting incident to propel the narrative forward, something that could---

A giant, Hollywood sized light bulb went off in my head and I stepped forward.

“Hi there, she’s with me.” I said in response to Trev when he asked in a rather gloating tone who Annie was with. The only thing now was to hope that Annie would play along. I shot her a quick look as I slid my arm around her. She squirmed slightly at first, but then turned and looked at Trev.

He had a peculiar, devious look plastered across on his face and was demonstrating the very strange ability he obviously possessed-to raise one eyebrow way, way too high. It was almost unnatural. I think they have lawyer jokes for a reason, because looking at Trev, they all suddenly seemed so appropriate ;

Q: What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?


A: One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

A: God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

Suddenly I’m trying to figure out how to incorporate those jokes into my film,

“Chris?” The guy says extending his hand for a shake. He’s ‘perfect’, this specimen of manliness. He has thick, slicked back black hair that looks unbelievably shinny, as if it’s made of black grease. His features are faultless, the kind one might find on the leading man of a daytime television drama. His jaw is so chiseled he could probably file down metal nails. He wears white linen pants with a pale pink Polo shirt- oh sorry, a guy like this would probably call the color Salmon, not pink.