We named him after your eccentric uncle-Morgan! (Pepperony Pregnancy)

To not become like him. ( 3rd month)

Pepper was now in the end of her first trimester. She was experiencing  difficulty to drift off to sleep, the need to always puke and pee, weird cravings and all the healthy pregnancy signs. 

But now it was Tony's turn ;he couldn't sleep. 

Insomnia has always been a good friend to the engineer; he can stay awake all night perfectioning his machines and thinking about the avengers. But he has never felt it since his return of space,  until now. 

He was tossing and turning in the bedsheets. Trying to battle his own mind; trying to find the reason why. He turns around again, it's 3:00 AM, and still no sleep.

 Everything was perfect, The kid is alive, back to college with his aunt, being a nice friendly-neighbourhood-spiderman, all the avengers were thrilled by the news. His buddy Bruce confessed to him that he would support them all the way. 

So, what was it?  Coffee? Pepper's hormonal tamtrums? Their wedding? Has his PTSD come back again? 

Turns out it was none of them; he was thinking about his own father. 

It was an odd thing. "HE "was an odd thing. Throughout his childhood, his father was a huge interrogation mark. A strange silhouette in the dark. He never understood his mean behaviour, nor the way he used to ignore him all the time, always ditching him in his mother's arm like a trash bag in a garbage disposal. 

As he got older, the memories of his father grew more and more painful , as he discovered the only reason why he seemed interested to him from time to time was to expose his son's giant intellect to everyone to gain the public's attention. 

He always felt useless with him, uninteresting. He was one of the many tools he had. Tony almost felt like the main reason why he was even brought to this world by his parents was to fulfill the task of being a heir to the industry. Nothing more, nothing less. 

But, Tony matured. He grew over that. Like he grew out of Afghanistan and Thanos; by shoving it inside the depths of his mind. Still, sometimes, they would come back, like mean shadows, and it was the scariest feeling. 

And at this very moment; it was happening. Darkness was enrolling him like an heavy wave of regrets, pain and trauma. He felt like he was chocking. 

His very own father was the reason why he always felt scared of the idea of being a daddy to someone. 

Then , Tony did the most unexpected: he shut his eyes very hard, curled himself in the bed and prayed. 

Tony was never a huge christian. Heck!, he was more of an atheist than anything!

But then, he prayed and prayed harder in the deadly silence of the dark bedroom. Shaking and choking on his tears. He prayed like he never did, remembering every sacred words his mother     ( who was a strict Italian catholic) , taught him when he was a child. 

He talked to God and begged Him to not repeat the cycle with him. The voice in his head was screaming to Him to not make him the absent figure his father was, to not become the jerk he was, to not become the manipulative bastard he was.

To not become like him.

The moment when the prayer was at it's intensity peak, something reached tony's hand like an angel and pushed him out of the deadly wave. It's hand was a shiny pale peachy-tone in the dark, braving all of his insecurities and fears.  It was ornated of a trail of ginger freckles and smelled sweet.

He slowly turned around. It was his beloved fiancé : Virginia "Pepper" Potts. The woman who saved him from these waves multiple times before. 

She had a worried and sad look, which saddened Tony.

Without both of them saying anything, Pepper approached his hand to her tiny tummy. 

It was so small; the size of a plum, said the doctors. So fragile and warm. The feeling of the tiny bump in his sweaty palm calmed Tony, drifting him to instant stress relief. The sign of a new life, a life created by the two of them being in love. A new carrier of hope on earth. They maintained eye contact all the way. Each of them trying to find a secret code being their gazes. Pepper whispered soft cracked words:

- It's okay Anthony, I am here , WE are here.

- Gosh Pep' I'm so... so, so , so , sorry . I am so... weak! I don't deserve you! You should be with a way better man! Heck! What father am I going to be!?!? choked Tony. 

- THE BEST ONE.  responded firmly Pepper

Tony hugged her. A long, sincere and loving hug. He had so much gratitude towards everything now. He has learned through all of his years of being a huge jerk to everybody . He wants to forgive and to be forgiven. Without realizing it, they both sunken into slumber while hugging. Only awaken by the sound of the electronic alarm and the smell of coffee.

____________________________________________________________________=-(+_+)

Wow that was heavy to write.
It may offend some that I approached religious themes, but in reality I am pretty close to an atheist myself ( I am just really inspired by religion). Also,  I was inspired by my own experience as having depression and anxiety for years. Because everybody's different, my portrayal of the condition may vary from yours.
Hope y'all enjoyed
Love ♥️
SAM.exe