Connor Murphy X reader oneshots

Stop messing with my head!

Connor's POV

I looked at my phone, debating if I should message her. Bother her, more like. And even if I did sneak out or invite her over, recently I'd been a nervous wreck around her. We'd been best friends for 3 years, and a few months ago I started to fall in love. I promised myself that I wouldn't let myself get hurt like that but I couldn't help it. She treated me like I was important, that I meant something to her. I'd let her borrow my hoodies and every time she wore them I felt my heart beating in my throat. She was stunning. When we were younger I could admit she was pretty, but now she was truly an angel. My angel, exept she wasn't.

"Hey, parents are out but everything is being loud again, can you come over?"

I didn't realize I'd sent it until I got the reply.

"Of course, I'll be there as soon as I can. Look after yourself."

'Look after yourself.' That was her way of saying 'don't kill yourself before I get there.' I felt like she was only there because she felt obligated to. In the last few years she's stopped some of my worst thoughts and held me through some of my worst nightmares.

I heard the knock at the front door, I ran down the stairs and opened the door to reveal Y/N. She was shivering slightly in the cold and wearing one of my old hoodies. She rushed inside, "hey Connor." She smiled, "what's wrong?" She asked. "I'm just not having a good brain day." I mumbled, walking into the kitchen and getting a glass of milk. I downed it and slammed the glass quite forcefully on the table. I felt 2 arms wrap themselves around my waist. "Connor, it's okay. I'm here." She whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I turned around and flung my arms around her, burying my face into her hair. She held me until I pulled away. When I did she pressed a kiss to my cheek. I jumped back, a million thoughts racing through my mind.

Your POV

"Connor?" I asked, reaching a hand out to touch him. He shot away from me, his breathing fast and uneven. "Stop messing with my head!" He shouted, running a hand through his hair and pulling it back slightly. "What?" I asked, "you know what!" He snapped. "All your fake flirting and making me think I've got a chance with you when we both know I'm a fucking freak and you're only dragging me along because it's funny!" He shouted. His face was bright red and his eyes were beginning to water. "Connor, I don't just drag you along. I lo-" I tried to tell him, reaching out slowly to wipe a tear from his face. "Don't!" He yelled, slapping my hand away. "Don't you dare fucking pity me." His voice was cracking as more tears rolled down his face. "Don't you dare pretend that I have a chance. Cause I don't. I know I don't! And you don't have to rub it in or act like I do. I fuck everything up, that's all I do. I fell in love and I tried to hide it but I fuck everything up." Connor collapsed as his knees bucked in. He landed on the floor, sat on his knees with his face in his hands. "just go." He whispered. "Con!" I pleaded, feeling tears run down my own cheeks. "please." He begged. I wiped the tear from my eye and kneeled down on the floor in front of him. His bloodshot eyes met mine as he slowly lifted his head up. He was on the verge of a panic attack and I could see the fear in his eyes. He moved so he was sat on the floor, hugging his shaking knees. "Connie, breath." I instructed as I placed a hand on his hammering chest. He tried to push it away but his hands were shaking too much. "Connor, please try and breath." I almost begged. "for me?" I whispered, his sad and tired eyes looked down in defeat. I placed my hand back on his chest, "Connor, breath with me. In....... Hold...... Out." I instructed. He did his best to follow. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it, "you'll be fine. Okay. It's just chemicals." I whispered. He nodded then shook his head. "making it worse." His voice was horse and barely audible. "what?" I asked, "you." He choked out. "It won't stop." He breathed. I didn't know what to say or do anymore. A last ditch effort flashed through my mind. "Connor, I'm so sorry." I told him, he looked up in confusion. His eyes dull but plauged with panic. I took a single breath and pounced at him, connecting our lips and causing him to fall onto his back. A single high pitched whimper left his lips from the shock of the sudden kiss. His body was rigid, unmoving. As I pulled away slowly I noticed how red his face was and how wide his eyes were. Connor sat up suddenly, stuttering slightly over his words. "What was that for?!" He demanded. "Connor just shut up. For fucks sake I love you!" I shouted. Connor suddenly froze, "I said don't pity me." He grumbled, sitting facing away from me. "Connor Micheal Alexander Murphy!" I yelled, causing him to stare. I never used his full name. "Connor Murphy, I love you." I told him. "I love your beautiful dark brown hair, I love running my fingers through it when you're stressed. I love your eye's and I love getting lost in them. You always said you hated them because the brown parts made them look stupid but I think they're perfect and I only wish you'd see it." I chuckled slightly, taking a breath. Connor's gaze had turned back to me now, his eyes glazed over with lust and admiration. I kept going. "I love your arms and I love how nicely I fit in them after a long day. I love your legs because I love how tall you are. You might be lanky but you don't take up too much space. I love you Connor Murphy." I finished, taking a deep breath and looking back at the depressed, hurt but still beautiful and loving boy still sat on the floor. "You really mean all of that?" He asked, hope in his voice. Which he quickly tried to hide. "I meant every word." I promised. Smiling sweetly and placing a hand on his face. This time Connor closed the gap. He held me as if I'd vanish if he pulled away. His arms puling me closer to his body. He kissed me like it was the only chance he'd get. He finally pulled away, breathing deeply. "I love you too." He smiled, pressing a kiss onto my forehead. "So fucking much." He added, wiping a final tear from my face.