The Unpayable Debt

Chapter 19

XIX

"Go on then, tell me..."

Robin had sent Guy off to Nottingham on some pretext; the real reason was that he wanted to speak to Sarah alone.

"...What was it he said to you?"

"Sorry?" Sarah looked up from what she was doing to see him standing before her; he was leaning casually against a tree, with his arms folded in front of him, regarding her with a smug smile on his face.

"Gisborne. That night he first brought you here..." upon seeing her confusion he continued, "...he brought you here tied up and struggling. The next morning you were lying in his bed. Indulge me - what did he say to you?"

She frowned in annoyance. The gall of the man. She continued with the task in hand, collecting clothes together for washing, only stopping briefly to answer him. "That's between me and him."

"Did he promise you marriage?"

She gave him the dirtiest of looks and then threw all of the clothes in a sack before storming off in the direction of the river. Robin followed unperturbed. "You must forgive me but I have good reason to be concerned." He shouted whilst trying to catch up to her.

"It is none of your business!" She turned swiftly on her heels, her eyes flashing in anger.

"Neither was Dartford but my men and I helped you."

"And how is this conversation helping me?"

He strode towards her, looking her directly in the eyes, the expression on his face intense. "Do you have any idea who you are getting involved with?"

"Do you?"

She saw him hesitate and was about to leave but he gripped her wrist. She angrily pulled her arm from his grasp but then he stepped forward to block her way. She looked up at him, the anger was rolling off her in waves but he was determined to have his say.

"How did he do it? What did he say to win you? I can't help but wonder for he is hardly a catch is he? He was the Master of Arms in Nottingham: Vaisey's Henchman, he did all of the dirty work for him, killing, torturing, you name it..."

She was livid but he didn't let up for a second. "Come on now, you can't tell me that this is news to you, you knew what he was and yet you still allowed him to..."

"What. He. Was." She spoke slowly, enunciating each word for emphasis. "You have just said it yourself..."

"Did he tell you about Marian? What he did to her?" He didn't wait for a reply to his question, "She was my wife did you know that? I loved her and he..."

He was unable to finish the sentence.

He was looking at her but it was as if he was looking through her – his mind was somewhere far away and she wondered what he was seeing. After a few moments, he blinked and she could see he was with her again. "I can't just stand by and watch him hurt another."

Now she understood.

For the longest time she had wondered what had happened to Lady Marian and had been terrified to ask. She had known it must be something terrible for every time Marian's name was mentioned everybody clammed up and a pall seemed to fall over the atmosphere of the camp.

In the end it had been Kate of course, who had spilled the beans with one of her rants about Guy, and although Sarah had been horrified, she had found that some part of her had not been surprised. She remembered the broken man Guy had been at Locksley, the pitch of his hatred for Marian, for Robin Hood, but mostly for himself and it was then that she had known that his obsession for that Lady could only end in tragedy.

Yes, she could understand Robin, he had every right to be worried considering what he had been through but still...

"He would never..."

"That's what Marian thought."

She shook her head. "He is not that man anymore."

"How can you know that?"

"Because I knew him!" Her voice was becoming louder again; she could feel her temper flaring.

"How?"

"From Locksley."

"Wait a minute; are you trying to tell me that you worked for him?"

She nodded. He was silent for a moment as it sank in but then he shook his head and began to laugh an ugly laugh; devoid of joy, hard and bitter.

"Do you know what happened to the last servant he had?"

"Yes."

"And yet you still choose to..."

"What do you want from me Robin?"

She had long since had enough of this conversation and just wished he would get to the point.

He for his part honestly couldn't say. He didn't know. Well he did, but considering that this conversation hadn't gone at all as he'd imagined, he knew better than to ask her.

God she is like Marian! So stubborn!

He would not talk her out of it, he could see that now. So determined was she to see the good in others. There was no chance that she would give up on Guy, just as Marian hadn't. All he could do was hope that she would not come to a similar fate.

She waited a while for him to answer but when she realised that no answer was coming, she took a deep breath and with a soft voice began to speak;

"Robin, I have never understood why you saved Guy from execution. I have never understood why you took him in and why you have him living here with you in the forest. I have never understood how you can work together considering the past you both share. I thought that perhaps with time I would come to understand but I must confess I am more confused than ever..."

"That makes two of us." He smiled. She returned the smile.

"And yet you have done all these things and you continue to do them. You cannot tell me why just as I cannot tell you why. You once said to me that everything we do is a choice and that is the best answer I can give you. I know what he has done, I know what he has been and yet I see what he is, how much he has changed and how hard he is trying to be a good man, to be the good man that has always been there inside him and I choose to forgive him, to believe in him, to love him. You may think me a fool but there it is – make of it what you will but please don't ask me why. For some things in this life Robin, there is no why."