The Unpayable Debt

Chapter 24

XXIV

It can't be a good feeling to discover you've taken a castle only to discover that it is under siege.

Likewise, it can't be pleasant to come face to face with a man you assumed you had killed.

Guy had put a blade in a lot of people over the years and of all those people, the last person he would've wanted to survive turned out to be the one that did.

If anyone could've survived, why couldn't it have been Marian?

Guy would never admit it but at that moment, he found that he could do with some words of wisdom from Allan. Even in the direst of situations, Allan could always perfectly sum things up in his own wonderful way. The discovery that Vaisey lived was ripe for the sarcastic commentary that only Allan could provide and Guy sorely missed it. Still it comforted him to know that his friend was out there in Sherwood and not stuck in the castle with the rest of them...

There was much to be done. The current occupants of Nottingham Castle were hopelessly outnumbered and as most of them were farmers and the like, one couldn't really expect much in the way of fighting either. The best one could do was put a sword or bow in their hands, show them the basics and hope they don't maim themselves or each other.

First order of the day however was Isabella. Ever since she'd betrayed him, Guy had been longing for his revenge but now that the moment had arrived, he found that his conscience was plaguing him. He knew that not so long ago, as he had been at her mercy, she'd barely batted an eyelid as she'd ordered his execution but still, it pained him to think that it had come to this. He shook his head as if to shake off his doubts about what he was about to do and placed the vial of poison in his pocket.

He had been over it a thousand times in his mind but was still wrestling with his feelings. At times, the thought of Meg and the role Isabella had played in her death would strengthen his resolve to go through with his plan. But then at other times, it was the image of his mother that dominated his mind – it broke his heart to think that if she could see them from heaven, she would weep bitter tears for they were both a far cry from the children they had once been.

I wish it could've been different Isabella, I failed you I know but I never had a choice...

Isabella may have thought that Guy had condemned her to a life of hell with Thornton but she had no concept of what the alternatives would have been like. Thornton had not been the only interested party; indeed, there had been a number of suitors for her and it made Guy shudder to think how it would've been for her had she ended up with any one of them.

Nor was she aware that Guy had been opposed to marrying her off at all, but at that point in his life, Vaisey had had him in such a chokehold that he'd been forced to do unspeakable things so that she would end up with Thornton and not somebody far worse.

The option of no marriage - that is of her staying with him and Vaisey had been no option at all. No matter what Isabella may have thought about her life with Thornton, Guy knew that she would never have survived a life with Vaisey. It made him feel ill just thinking of it.

He sighed. It was no good going over this again. The damage was done. The castle was about to fall and even if they survived the siege, the future held nothing good for either of them. Whoever came out of this victorious, Prince John or King Richard, it made no difference: they would pay for the things they had done, be the penalty death, imprisonment or servitude.

She might still be hoping for a happy end with Prince John but he knew better. She was in Prince John's good graces now but Guy knew all too well that it wouldn't take long for him to tire of her just as he did of everyone else and then where would she be? Her life with Thornton would seem like a picnic in comparison.