Seeing Green Episode IV: Close Encounters

Chapter Two

(three weeks later)

Bruce was driving through the streets frantically. She was weak, her cholesterol was low, and she felt faint.

Bruce needed grease. Needed the fatty, salty, unhealthy sweet wholesome goodness that only Big Belly Burger could provide.

"Out of my way, out of my way, this is an emergency!" she cried as she pushed through the line of people waiting to put in their order.

All the people watched, stunned, as Bruce Wayne, the multimillionaire, slumped over the counter weakly to make her order. "I want an order of extra big-ass fries, two giant shakes, one vanilla the other chocolate, one three quarter pounder with cheese, ten chicken nuggets and I will pay you each a hundred dollars if you serve me right freakin now!"

By the time she went to find a seat, she had already eaten half of her burger. Where to sit? She scanned the area.

"Oliver? What are you doing here?" Bruce proclaimed.

Oliver looked up from his burger, his eyes wide, as if he had been caught. Then he saw it was only Bruce, and he settled back. "Bruce, hey, how's it going?"

"Fine." She said, making her way over. "Mind if I sit with you?"

Oliver shook his head and took another bite of his burger.

Bruce took a seat. "I'm surprised to see you here, man. I thought you were like, up in Canada with Kara or something."

Oliver looked at her. "Canada?"

"Yeah."

"We aren't living in Canada. We're in Montana."

"Tomato, to-mato." Bruce said, waving a fry around. "Point is, I didn't think you even came here anymore. Thought you guys were going all clean eating or something."

"I'm not actually here right now." Oliver said, giving his surroundings a quick look over. "I'm supposed to be in Home Depot looking at faucets. But...sometimes I just crave meat! And fries! And grease and salt and..." Oliver sniffed. "...the simple convenience of fast food."

Bruce's eyes widened. "Me too! Alfred's got me on this stupid diet, and dude, I just can't take it any longer!"

Oliver nodded seriously. "I won't tell a soul that I saw you."

"Likewise my man."

They fist bummed.

"So she's got you on a diet?" Oliver asked before he took a long draw on his soda.

"Yeah. And it sucks." Bruce pouted as she jammed some chicken nuggets in her mouth. "You know what she tried to feed me the other day?"

"What?"

"Sweet potatoes."

"Oh." Oliver smiled. "I actually like sweet potatoes."

"Not candied, Oliver. Plain. Baked."

Oliver's eyes widened. "Not even fried?"

Bruce shook her head as she took a bite of her burger.

"That's disgusting!!"

"I know right? That's not even the worst thing. She keeps trying to get me to eat tofu!" Bruce made a gagging motion. "My life is like a black hole of sadness. No more frosting on my mini wheats, no more bacon,—"

Oliver gasped.

"—no more pork rinds, no more..." Bruce sniffed emotionally. "...junk food versions of fish and chips!" Bruce sobbed emotionally and slumped over her food.