Don't Pass Me By // Mclennon

~ four ~

I happily walked home and hummed a tune to myself as I looked up at the bright stars above me, keeping extra close attention to one in particular.

Oh, Julia.

Even in a much different, more darker part of the country, you still keep shining high above my head.

Finally, in the distance, I saw the dim flicker of our porch light. Mimi's gonna be pissed at me when I walk through those doors for being back so late.

I reeled back a little bit as I creaked open the wooden door, peering past into the kitchen.

Mimi sat, stirring honey into her mug of tea and looking back at me with squinted eyes.

"Look who finally decided to come home!" She said with a sarcastic tone. "Bit late, innit?"

I sighed and looked up at her, "I'm real sorry... I was down at the lake and I lost track of the time. Won't happen again. Swear it."

"So, yer enjoyin' the town more than you thought ye would, huh?" She did a half smile and started to walk towards me.

"...Eh, it's okay, I guess." I huffed a bit.

"Hm. Just get to bed, John." She headed down the hall to her room. "And don't be comin' home this late, again. It ain't safe bein' out after dark!"

I shrugged my shoulders and walked into my own room, shutting the door as quietly as I could. Flopping down onto my bed that I had finally put together, I let my body relax into the plush mattress.

"Paul... I've gotta get closer to ye. Somehow. I couldn't even fully glimpse into those eyes of yer's." I sighed to myself. "Jus need ye to look at me."

Am I thinking about this boy a little too much? Shit, I just want to be his mate. I need someone to be close with again. I feel so lost without someone like Stu or Pete. Like an emptiness.

Fuck. Who cares if I'm reminiscing too much, it's no one's business but me own. I'll sort it out somehow. I always find a way.

I rolled over and looked out my window, condensation build-up made it quite difficult to see much outside, so everything looked like a giant blur... Sort of like when I don't wear my glasses.

Stroking my fingers through my hair, I fell into my blankets and fell sound asleep.

...

"John... John... John!" A woman's voice shrilled out.

"Y- Yeah?!" I called out, shooting up from my slumber.

"It's 6:50 ...Ye really should be headin' to sch-" She spoke from the door way, I didn't bother changing from my outfit from yesterday, so I left as is. Scruffy bed-head and all!

I rushed out of the front door and ran my way down the dirt path, clouds of dust form behind my feet. I kicked the dirt happily with a laugh. I checked my wristwatch frantically every few minutes until I arrived infront of the school. Just making it in the knick of time.

I collapsed from exhaustion, catching my breath. Looking into the distance, I see the two boys who hungout with Paul yesterday at the lake.

"So, are we meetin' back at Penny Lake after school, today? Then goin' back to Paulie's place for band practice?" The one Paul called George asked.

"I think so..." The other boy said as he cocked his head. "Hopefully his parents will be okay wi' it."

"Oh, please! Jim and Mary love our music!" George exclaimed.

They walked passed me up the stairs and into the school, not paying me a single ounce of attention.

I should, uh... go and talk to them, maybe?

...

No, I shouldn't.

My heart began to race, I gripped at my chest. Not only is this pretty boy... well, pretty... he likes music, too! Who knows, maybe my dream of being in a band could carry on once more? Hah. Wouldn't that be something?

Who am I kidding... like any of them would even slightly look in my direction... Let alone, Paul.
Where is he, anyroad?

I laughed at my own inane thoughts as I slowly stood up and headed inside, noticing I barely had enough time to get to class.

"Ah, here we go, again." I said to myself as I began to dash to my first class, getting strange looks from those still around me.

First block is dragging on by and all I want to do was crash on my desk. A few times the teacher called my name for me to stop dozing off. Each time made those around me giggle to themself.

What even is the point of these stupid classes? What even goes on with school behind closed doors? What is even the point of showing up at all? I should be back home, doing important things like writing. I could be outside, watching down at the water as it washed against the shore with power. Maybe, if I'm lucky, Paul would show up and talk to me.

"John!" The teacher slapped her podium with a wooden ruler."How many times am I gonna have to wake you up this semester?! Pay attention!" The teacher hissed.

I shot up with a slight snore, "Hm?! ...Oh," I recollected myself to the best of my ability, "shit. Sorry abou' that, Miss-"

"Just... quit it, Lennon." She scolded, turning back to the board to explain the lesson.

"Do ye jus never sleep at night?" A bird next to me whispered with a slight giggle.

I scoffed a bit, "Hardly."

After that class ended, I went on to my others and they were just, if not more, boring than the one previously.

Pointless.

Pointless.

Pointless.

Pointless.

At lunch, I sat in the corner of the cafeteria, alone. Some people walked by with solemn looks across their mugs, as if they felt sorry. For whatever reason, I'll never know. It's a bit embarrassing,

Although, I don't fully mind.

I honestly have no interest in being friends with anyone except for Paul, George, and Richard. Don't know why, exactly. It's still all really... confusing. I'm not so interested in rationalizing these feelings at the moment, though, all I know is that I've got to say something, anything, to Paul.

I opened up my journal to the page I had jotted on yesterday and read over everything that I had written down, adding on some other things my brain came up with last minute.