Sergina was a pro @midfield, y'all.

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by aussentrist

by aussentrist

The tables have turned.

Sergina Ramos, potentially assumed as Rodríguez, is now Sergina Suarez, the Vampire Queen. 🧛‍♀️

She's no longer an asset of the better Madrid. (Thank the nightly Lord)

And is now a burden of Barcelona, their arch rivals.

Okay?

Now, think of it like this, in my over-cringing version of the story. She comes into the camp Nou like she fucking owns the place and places her Kim Kardashian ass on one of the seats. She brought along popcorn and sunscreen, who knew how long she would have to stay to watch her Vampire King, Luis Suarez play, I mean, come on.

You get the gig, humans.

All the men have accepted her as their family and now, they're all playing on the pitch.

OH SO SUDDENLY,

MIRACULOUSLY,

COINCIDENTALLY,

TOTALLY UNCONDITIONALLY,

Ivan falls down and breaks his ankle, and show must go on, so barca's coach throws him outta the field and is suddenly in utter agony, it's game day today, amongst the players, matter of life and death, and he needs someone to be Jordi's partner for their OH-so-Important ball passing game, so he does the only sane thing one could do.

He calls in Sergina.

[ completely ignoring 5 of the substitutes and more than 15 men in the reserves of the team ]

"Oh my god! You want me to play? It would be no big deal coach, I used to play as a midfielder in my high school days. I'm a fucking pro." —Sergina Suarez.

AND THEN, she plays at midfield, takes the ball away from 10 highly trained professionals, nutmegs Leo Fucking Messi, dribbles past Andres Iniesta, cuts through Pique (oh, nothing new there)

And she scores!

Tell you what, if you need to do something on your life, you gotta have the confidence of this hoe.

A complete born talent, doesn't require training and years of hard work and still nutmegs Leo Messi.

👏👏👏👏

Absolutely hate it when writers do this, tell the lead woman to come onto the pitch and play like a fucking pro.

Honestly, this is getting old, I've read so many stories like this and I'm sure, you have to.

I'm done.

#NobodyLikesYouSergina