Clarity || z.m

Mother

SORRY SORRY SORRY.

I've had such a busy summer.. my summer really started only about a week ago :( I know it's disappointing. This is an awfully short chapter. I couldn't do much without giving stuff away.

I promise I won't ever go that long without updating again.

I love you all so much. I nearly left, but I need to finish this up before I even think about doing so.

Love you.

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I looked out the window as we drove into San Francisco, remembering what happened some time ago when Zayn and I decided to move forward with our “relationship”.

As always when we rode around in the car, Zayn’s hand was set atop my knee, squeezing it gently. He knew it was taking everything in me to stay calm.

Apparently, he didn’t want to be the one to tell me why my mom took off and never came back because he felt like it wasn’t his place. But on the other hand, he did want to be there to support me throughout the entire way, which I was perfectly okay with.

I didn’t know exactly how I was going to handle it. How was she going to react to seeing me? And how was I going to react to seeing her?

Although Zayn said there was a reason.

As Zayn walked around to my side of the car, I took a shaky breath, composing myself before he would be able to notice the worry on my face.  I unbuckled the belt, letting it fling off of me, taking a few more deep breaths.

The breath taking man opening the door for me, surprised me with a kiss on the cheek that instantly put me in some peaceful state. Only he had the power to do that.

Zayn was the only one who could make me sane yet so insane at the same time. He drove me crazy, both in good and bad ways.

“You got this, Nani. Just stay strong and if she decides to tell you, hear her out.” He mumbled against my cheek as he took my hand to help me out of the car. Slowly, I nodded. I didn’t know how much patience was left in me, to be honest. I was still overwhelmed with all that’s happened.

But I wanted to leave this behind me. I wanted Beth to stay in my past and finally I was okay to leave her there. I couldn’t keep up with the hate I had for her anymore. It was time to finally pick up and move on. Staying in one place with the very same emotion rarely gets me anywhere. And with all that’s happened lately, I learned that.

You’d think with all I’ve had to find out that it would be much harder for me to move past everything, but I grew up. I had to be there for Mason unconditionally now. He still didn’t understand and I had to help him. And I was hoping with what I found out today, I’d be able to share this with him, too with perfect reasoning as to why he couldn’t come with me.