See You Soon

Powerful

'Oh my, my, my, what you do to me..'
It's been a while. But hello again.
Things are...getting worse.
In the pit of my stomach I feel so sick. it's nothing that I've done wrong I don't think, but how am I supposed to know when I don't know how to get rid of it. It's scary how powerful something like that could be. Unaware of what's causing it, but the strength it has is incredible. I'm not sure what else to say about it, but the feeling has overwhelmed me for some time now. and for periods of time, I would black out and end up doing something I regret. There's a lot of things I regret, letting go of her is one. She is an ex-girlfriend of mine, and my first girlfriend and my last. I'm not sure if that'll remain, but she was everything to me. We're still friends, so I shouldn't use past tense but still.. it doesn't matter now, we talk about it now and then and smile and laugh. Let's call her Danielle...though that's not even close to what her actual name is. she's very kind spirited, very extroverted no matter how introverted she can be, and she just loves expressing herself. She has her own problems, but that doesn't stop me from caring about her. It's gone through enough crap in her life, and I don't know what else to say about it. But none the less she made me so happy, and she still does by being my friend. We've had some rough times together as friends, but why soil good friendship over something unnecessary or childish. She stays very true herself and her morals, and I hope her boyfriend treats her right. Who am I kidding? Of course he'll treat her right, she is a treasure. She deserves to be cherished. Because I protect my friends, and I will let anyone hurt them.

I recently took in one of my friends as my child. They're now the heir to my throne, and I'll protect my dear child if anything is to happen to them. I'm using gender-neutral pronouns because I don't actually know what their preferred pronouns are, so I'm just taking precautions in case they read this. But they are very precious, and I call them Materia because they're just as beautiful as the goddess. If you don't understand.. it's from Dissidia Final Fantasy; there's a goddess and her name is Materia, and she's very pretty despite her design. Her outfit looks like a white and blue steampunk laundry basket not gonna lie. So I do like her cute little crown, and I kind of want one just like it. I can never have enough crowns, I am a king after all.
Also my my big brother had recently taken in another sibling, and now I have a little brother! I hope to talk to them more, they seem really nice and I could really use more company when I feel a bit lonely.
I'm still taking advanced composition, though I hate it. But the paper we've been working on was actually quite interesting, and I actually really liked it. We had to take a word that had multiple definitions, and describe it. I chose the word fragility, and a lot of people seem to really like it. Well mainly just my friend who peer edited my paper. I hate peer edits, they're just so pointless to me so I don't like doing them. I like to make my paper as crappy as possible when that happens. But this time I actually put in some effort so I guess I didn't need to do the extreme.
Life hasn't been treating me well so much, but in sculpture I have been making paper mache. I'm doing King boo, except not really King boo. We have to make things our own because we can't copy things. So I chose my persona Alucard, and made him a King boo instead. He's also kind of a purple hue, because I don't subject to social normalities. I guess that's not really a social normality. But I didn't want to leave him just a boring white ghost, you know? But I realized there's only one problem with that: my persona has one purple eye and one blue eye. If my ghost is the same color as the purple eye, then I'll have to change it for now. My ghost hasn't been going very well with painting wise, and the fact I forgot the little teeth King boo has. I've been a wreck, creative wise anyways. I haven't been able to draw much lately either, I hope I'm not losing interest. it's all I really have other than writing stories and poems. When I finish my ghost I'll be sure to share a picture. I should go no, and wrap this up before I do anything else. I only have two days of school this week, and tomorrow is the last day before Thanksgiving break. I'm too tired, so I'm going to go to bed now. Good night everyone or good morning I suppose wherever you are. I'll be sure to update soon. But nonetheless, even if nothing's going my way, it won't stop me. The will power of a human being is very powerful. Power is what we have left. we've lost all morality. With the abuse of power and free will, comes evil. And it feels like those around me are abusing those factors. Factors? Traits? Whatever they are, I can feel the threads of my friendship with a few people run thin. Is this a sign?
Maybe.
Maybe not.
Maybe I'm just imagining things.
But I can feel it.
So...does that make my feelings wrong?
Or are they trying to tell me something?