Prologue

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Prologue

I was looking intently at my highly uninteresting can of Pepsi. Which, I might add, I'd emptied nearly ten minutes before. Finally I heard the smack of the door followed by the sound of familiar footsteps down the hall, into the kitchen of Spencer's and my apartment, which we'd moved into sometime during the conflict I'd had with my parents for dropping out of college.

Finally Spencer entered the living room where I was seated and plopped down on the couch next to me. Confusion was etched on his features, shock almost. I seriously just hoped he'd gotten Brendon to talk. Yes, that's right. Our lead singer was the cause of the my preoccupied state earlier.

Seriously though, I was extremely worried. He'd lost close to fifteen pounds since we'd returned from our last tour, making him nearly as skinny as me, which is quite an accomplishment. Judging by the permanent bags under his eyes I'd say he wasn't sleeping properly either. He rarely talked nowadays, and never said anything unneccesary. Not to mention the fact that it'd been long since I'd seen him smile, let alone look sincerely happy.

I'm usually the one Brendon goes to when he needs to talk and this time he'd shut me out completely. It hurt and it scared me. This particular day I'd given up and talked Spencer into trying to cheer him up.

"So...?" I said expectantly, raising my eyebrows slightly.

For the longest time Spencer said absolutely nothing, just stared at his hands with creased brows and a confused look in his eyes. Then he finally looked up, meeting my glance. "I'm not sure you want to know," he muttered. "And even despite that it's not my place to tell you."

I sighed, letting my thin frame fall back against the backrest of the couch. "Spence... I need to know." I sighed a bit. I'd felt responsible for Brendon since I first met him. He's... I don't know really, he just always seemed so lost, like he was struggling very badly with something. And lately it'd gotten worse. "I need to help him." And I seriously did need that. He was like a younger brother to me, someone I'd do anything for. When he was sad I could barely function properly. That's just the kind of bond we have. I searched the eyes of my best friend. "Please, Spence."

He sighed, shook his head a bit. "I don't think you can help him, Ry..." He trailed off, biting his lip slightly. "Brendon..." Once again he paused. Finally he took a deep breath. "Brendon is in love with you."

My first reaction was disbelief. I mean, seriously! This was a guy I'd checked girls out with, a guy I'd discussed sex, straight sex that is, with, a guy I'd... he'd always seemed awfully quiet when our time together ended up being about girls, though, which is sort of odd for a teenage boy. These things had happened even more so lately, but still... He's generally been awefully quiet the last month or so, more than that probably, but it didn't get out of hand until a month ago. It was only then we really started to notice that something was up with him. But this can't be it. Brendon is straight! "He's not even gay," I replied, voicing my thoughts.

"Well, apparently he is," Spencer replied. "Ever seen him be more than friendly with a girl?"

I shook my head 'no'. "But that doesn't neccesarily mean anything. He may just be waiting for 'the one' or something," I added in protest. Somehow I just couldn't wrap my head around this idea. "You're just kidding, right?" I suddenly said in relief, letting out a choked laugh. "Spence, that's the worst joke I've ever heard."

One look at his face was enough to make my laughter die out. His eyes were serious and I'd known this kid since we were in diapers practically. I knew how he looked when he attempted to joke, and that's pretty much the opposite of how he looked right then. And to my great fear he not only looked serious, he also looked completely sure.

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